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From: "Mary F. Breland" <>
Subject: [ANDERSON-L] [Fwd: Just read it...]
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1998 17:55:31 -0700

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>a.. If your ceremonial garb consists of cut-offs and a tube top,
> Or if you think a "family tradition" is a dating club...
> If you've reached the 3rd degree but not the 3rd grade, Or if your
> coven's secret names for the God and Goddess are "Cooter" and
> "Sweet Cheeks".....
>
> You may be a redneck Pagan.
>
>b.. If your ceremonial chalice says "Budweiser" on it...
> If chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb...
> If your circle dance includes the words "dosey-do",
> Or if your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star
> on the Hollywood "Walk Of Fame".....
>
> You may be a redneck Pagan.
>
>
>c.. Now if your coven chose it's High Priest at a belchingcontest,
> Or if they chose their High Priestess at a wet t-shirt night...
> If your annointing oil smells like "Old Spice"...
> And if you have ever refilled your chalice from a keg...
>
> You may be a redneck Pagan.
>
>d.. If your Goddess picture says "Miss September" at the bottom,
> Or your God statue looks a little too much like Elvis Presley...
> If you have ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu...
> Or if you have ever cancelled a coven meeting to watch
> Pay-Per-View wrestling on TV...
>
> You may be a redneck Pagan.
>
>e.. If your children and your dog have the same magical name
> (Skeeter! Get on over here and cast this circle!)...
> If your cakes and ale consist of moonpies and a cold "Bud"...
> Or if your coven sword says "Power Rangers" on it...
>
> You may be a redneck Pagan!
>
>
>f.. If your Book Of Shadows has a picture of Kyle Petty or Dale
> Earnhart on it...
> If your divination kit consists of a picture of Dionne Warwick
> and a 1-900 number...
> Or if your idea of a pilgrimage to a sacred circle is going to
> the Indy 500...
>
> You're probably a redneck Pagan!
>
>
>g.. Now if your ceremonial head-dress has a bill and says
> "Chevrolet" on it,
> Or if your Sabbat Queen's head-dress is made out of
> those little nylon flowers the veterans hand out in
> front of the supermarket...
>
> You're probably a redneck Pagan.
>
>h.. If you chose "Jim Bob" or "Stormin Normin" as a magickal name...
> If you think charging is done with a Master Card...
> Or if your Balefire says "Coleman" on it...
>
> You might be a redneck Pagan.
>
>
>i.. Now, if your covenstead says "Winnebago" on the side, you're
> NOT neccesarily a redneck Pagan, but if your covenstead's up on blocks,
> well.....You might be a redneck Pagan.
>
>
>j.. Now if you Goddess visualizations look too much like Pamela Anderson.....
> Or if your initiatory ordeal consisted of being blind-folded
> with a confederate flag and leg-wrestling...and...
>
>
>k.. If your idea of a Pagan festival consists of a tailgate party
> and tickets to the superbowl...
> Or if your ceremonial chants are by Garth Brooks...
>
> You're probably a redneck Pagan!
>
>l.. If your coven's guided meditations start out with a burger at "Hooter's",
> or if you think a "Gerald Gardner" is farm equipment...
>
> You are definately a redneck Pagan!
>
>
>m.. And finally, if you have ever called the National Enquirer
> because you raised a potato that resembled the Willendorf Goddess,
> Or if you have EVER worked love magick on livestock.....
>
> AND FAILED...
>
> You are definately a Redneck Pagan!

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• [ANDERSON-L] [Fwd: Just read it...] by "Mary F. Breland" <>