APPALACHIAN-LIFE-L Archives

From: Jeannie A Travis <>
Subject: [AppalLife] Send a woman...
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 2003 07:18:10 -0600

I read this on another list, and thought it was funny....TRUE , too !
Jeannie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have
arrived in Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United
Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know
that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For
crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men
can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and
splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent
into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can
sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope.
Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic
beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one
floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been
disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a
chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you
get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a
block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their
kids than Sherlock Holmes.

And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an
offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection
team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on
electronic devices? My mother would walk in with a wooden soup
spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap,

"Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God
help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street
to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and
say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap!
Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with
that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of
Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it,
he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole summer.
Inspectors my eye... You want the job done? Call my mother!!!!

This thread:

• [AppalLife] Send a woman... by Jeannie A Travis <>