CARPENTER-L Archives

From: "John in NH" <>
Subject: Fw: Humor
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 1999 07:29:33 -0500

-----Original Message-----

>
>>
>>
>> TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED
>> I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive
>> and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing
>> and
>> she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit
>> card
>> number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into
>> itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer
>> would not
>> turn on.
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> 1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
>> 2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
>> 1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
>> all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it
>again,
>> and
>> the same thing happened."
>> 2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
>> 1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
>> else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient
>would
>> open it
>> and read it."
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
>> "Do you need some help?" I asked.
>> She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote
>> door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
>> (pointing to
>> a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
>> "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this
>> remote "'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
>> As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
>don't
>> you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long
>walk."
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
>> Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
>> Tech Support: "Well?"
>> Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his
>> address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked
>where
>> Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look,
>> I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he
>> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
>typing
>>
>> paper.
>> What do I do?"
>> "Just use copier machine paper," she told him.
>> With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper,
>put
>> it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators
>> called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped
>coins
>> into
>> the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something she was
>> thinking
>> of doing. She said, "Never mind" and hung up. So I got out my trusty
>> tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and sure enough,
>> there was
>> 40 cents.
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
>> administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to
>type
>> a path name
>> to a directory named "i386." He started to type it, paused, and asked
>> me,
>> "Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked what he was talking
>> about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
>> exclamation mark." I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he
>said,
>> "Yeah,
>> that's it!"
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> This person had a broken lamp that he wanted to discard.
>> Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it
>> impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided
>to
>> cut the cord, since the
>> lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first,
>> however, and I
>> found him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
>towed
>> into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
>> and
>> the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
>the
>>
>> manager what had happened.
>> He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in
>> back to make a sandwich.
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered
>> said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
>> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> I rented a movie from Blockbuster Video. Before the movie began, a
>> message came on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit
>> your
>> television screen." Comment from person: "How do they know what size
>> screen I have?"
>>
>>
>
>==
>
>Stay Happy! and Have a good day!
>
>Bessie
>
>
>
>_________________________________________________________
>DO YOU YAHOO!?
>Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>

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• Fw: Humor by "John in NH" <>