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From: "Leslie Tromans" <>
Subject: Party Jokes - Best Cornish Jokes
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 99 20:57:27 PST


Here are some Cornish Jokes to liven up the party!

The oldest woman of a tiny village not one hundred miles from Callington had lost all but one of her possessions in a fire. To raise money for her, the villagers decided to raffle this remaining treasure. One of the ticket sellers approached the village skinflint.
"Buy a ticket?" said the latter suspiciously. "What for then?"
"For a raffle."
"What's the raffle for though?"
"For Dolly Penhaligon."
"For Dolly Penhaligon! An' what if I won her then? I've no room at home for the likes o' she. She bean't no use to me 'tall."

Visitor: "How do you do?"
Local: " 'ow be ee?"
Visitor: " It is a beautiful day."
Local: "A spoase it be."
Visitor: "Lovely part of the world, this."
Local: "Ayse."
Visitor: "Have you lived here all your life?"
Local: "Not yet."

Both Tim , the miner, and his comrade, Bob, had forgotten their pasties for croust. One of their workmates came to the rescue with a large piece of figgy 'obbin.' Tim broke it two. One chunk was rather smaller than the other and he gave this to Bob, keeping the big piece for himself.
"That 'edn fair," said Bob. "I'd never have a-done that! I'd have given you the biggest piece if I'd broken un."
"Well, I've got the biggest piece, so what are 'ee complainin' about?"

Countrywoman, for the first time seeing a train entering the tunnel not far from her home, "Twud be a big scat-up if th'awl wad'n there".

[My apologies in advance to the Irish!]
A crowd had gathered on the cliffs to watch the lifeboat going out to a sinking schooner.
"How many be they aboard?" asked a late arrival on the scene.
"Aw, love an' bless 'ee, there's three poor dear souls and wan old Irishman!"

The blacksmith and his son were before the fire on a dark night, each with a drop of gin.
Said the old man, "Open the door, booay, an' see if it be rainin' outside".
"Aw," his son answered, "Why don't us just call the dog in an' see if he be wet?"

Old Jan was discussing pronounciation on Penzance quay with a ship's captain from Kilmarnock.
"Now," said the Scotsman, "what do you say in this part of the world, 'nayther' or 'neether'?"
Old Jan: "Nather. Us dawn't use the expression."

"Tes true, shure 'nuff, I'd as soon dig a grave for you, Cap'n Treloar, as any man I knaw," said a sexton to a Cornish mine captain in a sudden moment of admiration.

Said one Cornish bed-and-breakfast farmer to another, "I'll tell 'ee, I'm always glad when they furriners stop cummin' for the season. Then I can shave meself and taake me trouser bottoms out o' me boot."

More next time! Bye for now, I must get back to my 12 drummers!

Leslie Tromans
BAWDEN, MILL, MITCHELL, NICHOLLS, ROWETT, TREVENA, TROMANS, WEBB, WILLIAMS
Northville Michigan USA

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