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Archiver > CORNISH > 2000-05 > 0959816311

From: "TLC" <>
Subject: Re: Off-Topic
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 16:38:31 -0700
References: <>

Dear Warren,

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. My gosh, here I am at 4:31 AM, all
by myself and laughing so hard I wonder if I've awakened the neighbors!
Haven't had such a good laugh in a long time. Wonderful stuff!

Thelma Lawson Cudmore
Stockton, California, USA

R O W E, L E E, D E N N I S, B O N D
& others in Truro/Camborne area
----- Original Message -----
From: Warren <>
To: <>
Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2000 4:24 AM
Subject: Off-Topic

> The one from England i wonder if it came from Cornwall. I was half
> expecting some parrotts and their knitted undies and feather boa
> ....sorry girls ( i had to get this one in)
> Subject: FW: This is hilarious! SOCOG
> Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney
> Olympic
> Committee via their website, and the answers supplied where
> appropriate:
> Q : Does it ever get windy in Australia ?
> I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do plants grow there ? (The
> question came from UK).
> A :Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this
> question,
> Who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower.
> Q : Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street ? (This question is
> from the USA)
> A : Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
> Q. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth
> To avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
> A. Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in
> Sydney.
> Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A. Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have
> started about a
> year and a half ago to get there in time for this October...
> Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
> A. And accomplish what?
> Q. My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia.
> Will you let her in? (South Africa)
> A. Why? We do have toilet paper here...
> Q. Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)
> A. ???
> Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
> A. Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...
> Q. Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
> A. No. Everybody stinks.
> Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
> NB. This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...
> Q. Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
> is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> A. Yes. Gay nightclubs.
> Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
> A. Yes. At Christmas.
> Q. Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
> A. Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
> Q. Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
> A. Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.
> Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
> (USA)
> A. What are you smoking, and where do I get some?
> Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year
> round?
> (Germany) NB. Another blonde?
> Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
> rattlesnake serum. (USA)
> NB. I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia)
> Q. Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
> A. (Face North and you should be about right)
> Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> NB. Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between
> Austria and
> Australia.
> Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
> its
> name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
> A. !!!!!
> .....ende......

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