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Archiver > CORNISH > 2003-02 > 1044144683


From: "Tom Hill" <>
Subject: Re: [CON] Off Topic - Humour.
Date: Sun, 2 Feb 2003 00:11:34 -0000
References: <BA629F11.F7A5%visualarts@ozemail.com.au> <00d001c2ca4b$a86a6c60$891986d9@computer>


She has a twin brother living in the U.K.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Val Morrison" <>
To: <>
Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2003 11:42 PM
Subject: Re: [CON] Off Topic - Humour.


> Too late, Corinne!
>
> She's been in my house for ages now
>
> Val
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Corinne Thompson <>
> To: <>
> Sent: 01 February 2003 23:10
> Subject: [CON] Off Topic - Humour.
>
>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Even though this lady is residing in MY house, she may at some time
appear
> > in yours. Be alert!
> > A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my
> house.
> >
> > I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I
> > certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't
there,
> > and the next day she was!
> >
> > She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most
> part,
> > but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I
> look
> > in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole
> thing,
> > completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude!
> >
> > I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back. The least she
> > could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a
while,
> I
> > find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a
> sofa
> > cushion, but it is not nearly enough.
> >
> > I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money
> from
> > me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all
> gone!
> > I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old
> lady
> > is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to
> buy
> > wrinkle cream.
> >
> > And ... money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing. Food seems
to
> > disappear at analarming rate--especially the good stuff like ice cream,
> > cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better
> watch
> > it, because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes
> > this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to
> > make me think I am
> > putting on weight, too.
> >
> > For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games,
> like
> > going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they
> > don't fit. And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find
> anything.
> > This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat andorganized.
> >
> > She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail,
> > newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't
read
> > it. And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on
> my
> > TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers.
> >
> > She has done other things ....... like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum
> > cleaner heavier and all my knobs and faucets harder to turn. She even
made
> > my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.
> >
> > Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away,
> > applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open
the
> > jars.
> >
> > She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something
> on,
> > she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She
> > looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me
from
> > seeing how great they look on me.
> >
> > Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong.
She
> > came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license,
> and
> > just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!
> > I hope she never finds out where YOU live!
> >
> > Kindest Regards ...... Corinne in Melbourne, Australia.
> >
> >
> >
> > ==== CORNISH Mailing List ====
> > To contact Sharon Symons, Listmum, send email to
> <>
> >
> >
>
>
>
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>
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