Down-Home-Chatter-L Archives

From: "Macbetty" <>
Subject: [DHC] e-mail forwards
Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 11:23:07 -0700

Love this e-mail--- I just recieved from a dear friend. -- so am sharing
it-- who ever wrote it orginaly should get a "humanitarian" award
LOL -betty
WORDS TO REMEMBER
Stuff to remember when emailing: (I love this email) Whoever decided to
create this note and forward it on should receive some type of
humanitarian award. It says it all!
1) Big companies don't do business via chain letters. Bill Gates is not
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is
no baby food company issuing class-action checks. Cracker Barrel isn't
giving away free gift certificates either.
2) Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its
logo is not satanic.
3) MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to
the most people.
4) The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no
need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
5) There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in
a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to
their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney- theft ring
stories, see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And
I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their
stories. "None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Nada, not even your
friend's cousin.
6) Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if
they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html. Then, if you make the recipe,
decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
7) If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went
to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
8) There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm
that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with
viruses.
Try: http://www.norton.com and even then, don't forward it. We don't
care.
And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to
download it. Ya know, like, a FILE!
9) There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
10) This one is only for UNIX shell folks - whoever you are) If you're
using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML
encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care
enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser since
you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie recipe,
anyway.
11) If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message
from
a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers
showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. (Think
Cut
and Paste) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the "" that begin
each
line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've
probably already seen it.
12) Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc) in England is not
dying
of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop
sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little
boy" either.
13) The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work,
but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response
to
the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and
reputation.
It is distracting them from the important work they do.
14) Also, the American Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each
person you forward e-mail to. They ask for you to donate money, they
don't give it, as if they could know how many e-mails you sent
out...sheesh.
15) If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything
that
"promises" something bad will happen if you "don't,"-then something bad
will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
16) Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail
won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your
local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty
International or the Red Cross.
17) As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean
nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the
competition is complaining about.
18) KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet.
No, they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health
conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is
not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to
KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
19) Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four
generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not
actually make it true.
20) PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long
distance companies to charge you for using the Internet. Bottom
Line...composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as
writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe
it.
Until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that
it's true.
Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on your
hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach
out and slap you upside the head!
This message will self destruct in 30 seconds...

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• [DHC] e-mail forwards by "Macbetty" <>