GEN-MEDIEVAL-L ArchivesArchiver > GEN-MEDIEVAL > 2007-02 > 1172006346
From: Eric Stevens <>
Subject: Re: Scottish & Irish Drinking Customs
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 10:19:06 +1300
References: <vstzh.257$T25.email@example.com><firstname.lastname@example.org><email@example.com><firstname.lastname@example.org><email@example.com> <53e8gsF1saob7U1@mid.individual.net><gAmAh.2639$g82.1214@trndny09> <firstname.lastname@example.org><skHAh.email@example.com><firstname.lastname@example.org> <fu%Ah.4268$E71.2479@trnddc04><email@example.com>
On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:08:38 +1000, "Adam Whyte-Settlar"
>"Cory Bhreckan" <> wrote in message
>> Adam Whyte-Settlar wrote:
>>> "a.spencer3" <> wrote in message
>>>>"Adam Whyte-Settlar" <> wrote in message
>>>>>Some friends of mine saw a full grown python dead on the road recently -
>>>>>stretched from one side of the road to the other and was so thick they
>>>>>to drive partly on the verge to get over it. They grow to 23ft long and
>>>>>thick as a man's waist eventually. At that size they can swallow a man
>> A very small man.
>And? Did I say a big man? I did not.
>Any Dundonian and most Govanites would be fair game.
>> The longest snakes in the world, Python reticulatis (Reticulated python.
>> SW Asia) do not eat the biggest prey. Nor does the largest, Unectes
>> murinus (Green anaconda, South America).
>Yes yes - I know all that (as of yesterday) Sheesh - there's always one
>smartarse who thinks it's clever to spoil a good yarn with facts.
>Got another Python story just off the press.
>This was in a house in the bush near Atherton, about 10 miles from here,
>sometime last week.
>This woman wakes up in the dead of night to sounds of her spoilt little dog
>(that sleeps in the bedroom - yuk) making muffled whimpering noises.
>She reaches down to it's rug at the side of the bed and her hand comes to
>rest not on something soft, warm and fluffy but on something thick, cold and
>She freaks out and screams - waking hubby.
>She switches on the light and there's a sodding great 4M Python with the
>face of her darling little Fido about to disapear down it's throat. She and
>hubby leap out of bed and he grabs it by the neck and she grabs it by the
>tail (still connected to the whimpering, now airborn, dog's face) and
>between them they manage to unwrap the thing from around Fido and pry open
>the snake's jaws. Amazingly the dog seems to be OK - at least not crushed -
>and still holding the snake stretched one at each end they wrestle it
>outside, across the garden, and it's one, two, three and heave the bugger
>over the fence into the woods.
>This all takes a minute or two as you might imagine and when they return,
>somewhat weak at the knees, to the house to check on the dog.
>But, dear reader, on the floor in the lounge they find ANOTHER 4M Python
>waiting for them! Probably the other's mate.
>Only this one has a large fat bulge in it's middle.
>Thinking that this bastard has nabbed the dog while they were disposing of
>the first one they run back through to the bedroom to check and discover
>Fido is still alive and kicking.
>It took them a while to work it out but it eventually dawned on them that
>Fido's fluffy, much-drooled upon and dog-wreaking, stuffed, life-sized toy
>They can only presume that the Python could smell Fido on it, took it for
>the real thing, crushed it and scoffed it.
>I think that Python got the one, two, three treatment too.
>No word on the health of the toy dog as yet but the prognosis isn't good.
>Can't imagine the snake is feeling that great either.
>And *I don't care* if that story is technically accurate.
>I tell you it's a jungle out there.
>Another little true story from just a couple of hours or so ago. I'm still a
>I was sitting here in my sparse little office checking my fan mail first
>thing when I caught this movement out of the corner of my eye.
>On the tiles, less than a metre from my bare feet was the first and biggest
>real live TARANTULA I've ever seen.
>Now I 'know' that tarantulas get a bad press and they are not really deadly
>and they only rarely eat birds. However, I wasn't using the rational part of
>my brain from that point on and merely relied on my primal instincts.
>The books say: "...the bite is painful, as the fangs are large and as long
>as those of many snakes. Severe illness sometimes results and nausea and
>vomiting for six to eight hours have been reported from bites..." Which is
>bad enough, but what they don't say is that certain lily-livered
>arachnaphobe pussies would die of a ****ing heart attack if the bloody thing
>so much as touched them. I believe I fall squarely into the latter catagory.
>In fact I *know* I fall squarely into the latter catagory.
>Take a look at this and I think most sympathetic souls will appreciate why.
>I searched out a suitable weapon - which turned out to be a plank of wood 4
>inches wide and fully 9ft long. Damned if I was getting any closer than
>that. As it happened it barely had time to rear up before I flattened the
>It took me about another hour just to pluck up the courage to sweep the body
>into the dustpan and chuck it outside. By that time I had managed to regain
>some small measure of control over the rational part of my brain and figured
>it probably wouldn't attack me.
>I wasn't taking any chances as just last night we had another bloody great
>wolf spider in the bedroom wardrobe (the press *they* get *is* justified)
>and I missed it with the floor-polisher (which broke) and had to hop about
>frantically trying to whack the big ugly sod with my slipper from the
>relative safety of the bed . They can really move when they have to.
>Fortunately so can I.
>What is really worrying about the tarantula is I just can't figure out how
>something damn near the size of a side-plate and with a body as thick as a
>cigar got *into* the house in the first place. We are religious about
>keeping the snake/insect screens closed at all times and I can't find a gap
>Maybe they are already in the house somewhere and just waiting their chance
>It's getting to be beyond a joke. My heart isn't a young as it was. I'm
>thinking of moving back to NZ with the dear little redbacks and whitetails.
... and earthquakes. Don't forget the earthquakes. Australians are
terrified of earthquakes. Not that I've felt one here in Auckland for
very many years. Volcanoes now, that's another matter :-)
|Re: Scottish & Irish Drinking Customs by Eric Stevens <>|