GEN-MEDIEVAL-L Archives

Archiver > GEN-MEDIEVAL > 2007-02 > 1172006346


From: Eric Stevens <>
Subject: Re: Scottish & Irish Drinking Customs
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 10:19:06 +1300
References: <vstzh.257$T25.512@eagle.america.net><vu1ts2lnu7rld4ha4ptitfq00ll8h6sfoi@4ax.com><45cf2e62@quokka.wn.com.au><l39vs29o7r3pae9e6f9282l8k7252n3gta@4ax.com><45d067de@quokka.wn.com.au> <53e8gsF1saob7U1@mid.individual.net><gAmAh.2639$g82.1214@trndny09> <45d33e61@quokka.wn.com.au><skHAh.6966$fa.137@newsfe1-win.ntli.net><45d47fcf@quokka.wn.com.au> <fu%Ah.4268$E71.2479@trnddc04><45da823f@quokka.wn.com.au>


On Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:08:38 +1000, "Adam Whyte-Settlar"
<> wrote:

>
>"Cory Bhreckan" <> wrote in message
>news:fu%Ah.4268$...
>> Adam Whyte-Settlar wrote:
>>> "a.spencer3" <> wrote in message
>>> news:skHAh.6966$...
>>>
>>>>"Adam Whyte-Settlar" <> wrote in message
>>>>news:...
>>>>
>>>>>Some friends of mine saw a full grown python dead on the road recently -
>>>>
>>>>it
>>>>
>>>>>stretched from one side of the road to the other and was so thick they
>>>>>had
>>>>>to drive partly on the verge to get over it. They grow to 23ft long and
>>>>>as
>>>>>thick as a man's waist eventually. At that size they can swallow a man
>>>>>whole.
>>
>> A very small man.
>
>And? Did I say a big man? I did not.
>Any Dundonian and most Govanites would be fair game.
>
>
>> The longest snakes in the world, Python reticulatis (Reticulated python.
>> SW Asia) do not eat the biggest prey. Nor does the largest, Unectes
>> murinus (Green anaconda, South America).
>
>Yes yes - I know all that (as of yesterday) Sheesh - there's always one
>smartarse who thinks it's clever to spoil a good yarn with facts.
>
>Got another Python story just off the press.
>This was in a house in the bush near Atherton, about 10 miles from here,
>sometime last week.
>This woman wakes up in the dead of night to sounds of her spoilt little dog
>(that sleeps in the bedroom - yuk) making muffled whimpering noises.
>She reaches down to it's rug at the side of the bed and her hand comes to
>rest not on something soft, warm and fluffy but on something thick, cold and
>scaly.
>She freaks out and screams - waking hubby.
>She switches on the light and there's a sodding great 4M Python with the
>face of her darling little Fido about to disapear down it's throat. She and
>hubby leap out of bed and he grabs it by the neck and she grabs it by the
>tail (still connected to the whimpering, now airborn, dog's face) and
>between them they manage to unwrap the thing from around Fido and pry open
>the snake's jaws. Amazingly the dog seems to be OK - at least not crushed -
>and still holding the snake stretched one at each end they wrestle it
>outside, across the garden, and it's one, two, three and heave the bugger
>over the fence into the woods.
>This all takes a minute or two as you might imagine and when they return,
>somewhat weak at the knees, to the house to check on the dog.
>But, dear reader, on the floor in the lounge they find ANOTHER 4M Python
>waiting for them! Probably the other's mate.
>Only this one has a large fat bulge in it's middle.
>Thinking that this bastard has nabbed the dog while they were disposing of
>the first one they run back through to the bedroom to check and discover
>Fido is still alive and kicking.
>It took them a while to work it out but it eventually dawned on them that
>Fido's fluffy, much-drooled upon and dog-wreaking, stuffed, life-sized toy
>is missing.
>They can only presume that the Python could smell Fido on it, took it for
>the real thing, crushed it and scoffed it.
>I think that Python got the one, two, three treatment too.
>No word on the health of the toy dog as yet but the prognosis isn't good.
>Can't imagine the snake is feeling that great either.
>And *I don't care* if that story is technically accurate.
>I tell you it's a jungle out there.
>
>Another little true story from just a couple of hours or so ago. I'm still a
>bit shaky.
>I was sitting here in my sparse little office checking my fan mail first
>thing when I caught this movement out of the corner of my eye.
>On the tiles, less than a metre from my bare feet was the first and biggest
>real live TARANTULA I've ever seen.
>
>Now I 'know' that tarantulas get a bad press and they are not really deadly
>and they only rarely eat birds. However, I wasn't using the rational part of
>my brain from that point on and merely relied on my primal instincts.
>The books say: "...the bite is painful, as the fangs are large and as long
>as those of many snakes. Severe illness sometimes results and nausea and
>vomiting for six to eight hours have been reported from bites..." Which is
>bad enough, but what they don't say is that certain lily-livered
>arachnaphobe pussies would die of a ****ing heart attack if the bloody thing
>so much as touched them. I believe I fall squarely into the latter catagory.
>In fact I *know* I fall squarely into the latter catagory.
>Take a look at this and I think most sympathetic souls will appreciate why.
>
>http://www.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com/image-files/australian-spiders-tarantula.jpg
>
>I searched out a suitable weapon - which turned out to be a plank of wood 4
>inches wide and fully 9ft long. Damned if I was getting any closer than
>that. As it happened it barely had time to rear up before I flattened the
>poor thing.
>It took me about another hour just to pluck up the courage to sweep the body
>into the dustpan and chuck it outside. By that time I had managed to regain
>some small measure of control over the rational part of my brain and figured
>it probably wouldn't attack me.
>
>I wasn't taking any chances as just last night we had another bloody great
>wolf spider in the bedroom wardrobe (the press *they* get *is* justified)
>and I missed it with the floor-polisher (which broke) and had to hop about
>frantically trying to whack the big ugly sod with my slipper from the
>relative safety of the bed . They can really move when they have to.
>Fortunately so can I.
>What is really worrying about the tarantula is I just can't figure out how
>something damn near the size of a side-plate and with a body as thick as a
>cigar got *into* the house in the first place. We are religious about
>keeping the snake/insect screens closed at all times and I can't find a gap
>anywhere.
>Maybe they are already in the house somewhere and just waiting their chance
>to pounce.
>It's getting to be beyond a joke. My heart isn't a young as it was. I'm
>thinking of moving back to NZ with the dear little redbacks and whitetails.
>
... and earthquakes. Don't forget the earthquakes. Australians are
terrified of earthquakes. Not that I've felt one here in Auckland for
very many years. Volcanoes now, that's another matter :-)
http://www.gns.cri.nz/what/earthact/volcanoes/arc/index.html



Eric Stevens

This thread: