GEN-TRIVIA-ENG-L ArchivesArchiver > GEN-TRIVIA-ENG > 2003-03 > 1049154361
From: "Becky Higginbottom" <>
Subject: Re: [trivvies] Sir Ian of Tiptree...
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 15:46:01 -0800
LOL!!! Well done, your Highness!!!
> Dear Sir Ian...
> I, Mary Queen of Scots, hereby welcome you to Trivington, on behalf of
> The Royal Court & The People (Peasants, Publicans, etc.). You will, of
> course, be expected to follow the rules closely (just follow them
> closely, that's all - not too closely or you might step in
> something...like I seem to do on other lists who shall be nameless...).
> Herewith, heretofore and notwithstanding or sitting, are the Royal Rules
> of Trivington, as set out by Her Majesticness:
> Rule #1 ~ Always back out of the Throne Room (making sure you put the
> seat down first).
> Rule #2 ~ Always keep your armour on & be At-The-Ready - you never know
> when a fire-breathing drunken dragon will enter Trivington, bent on
> kidnapping the Queen, District Nurse or that lady who runs the fancy hat
> & shoe shop (we Royals realize that armour can be a bit difficult at
> times, but remember, you're doing it for Queen & England!!)(have filter
> fitted inside helmet so that whatever's in there can't get out).
> Rule #3 ~ There is no Rule #3.
> Rule #4 ~ Squeak only when squoken to. Get free tube of Armour-Lube at
> Trivington Garage.
> Rule #5 ~ No clanking after 10 pm (3-1/2 hours earlier in Newfoundland
> but they don't care as long as you're not after their codfish).
> Rule #6 ~ The Queen's colours are Turquoise & Parple, so be sure you
> carry them on your lance at all jousting tournaments and tea-parties.
> Rule #7 ~ Remember you are a Knight of the Realm (which now includes
> Trivington). Sleep in your armour so that you don't bump your head
> should you fall out of your four-poster and frighten your Blue Charger.
> Rule #8 ~ Do not frighten the Trivington children with any of your
> Knightly Pranks. Our children are our Future (not my fault - I read it
> on the back of a matchbox) and you mustn't damage their little psyches.
> Rule #9 ~ No smoking when armour faceplate is in the down position,
> unless this ploy is used to confuse dragons in combat, by having smoke
> come out of your nose.
> Rule #10 ~ I never met this person before and claim no
> responsibiliititititititity for anything he may be or do, appear to be,
> try to be, say, shout, eat, drink or leave in front of your door.
> Signed & sworn to on this the 31st day of March, 2003 A.D.
> Marie, Reine d'Ecosse, l'Angleterre et La Belle France.