Archiver > GEN-TRIVIA-ENG > 2004-09 > 1096113774

From: Mary <>
Subject: getting old
Date: Sat, 25 Sep 2004 08:02:54 -0400

my ex, who will be 70 in January, is currently in hospital. As I
probably mentioned before, while we're separated, we've never divorced
and increasingly over the past few years I have become involved in
helping out - taking him shopping, having him over for dinner, driving
him to the various family gatherings etc. Makes sense as I have a car &
he does not, and the reality is we share 4 kids & 4 grandkids - and I'm
all for a peaceful family life... And when asked he still refers to me
or introduces me as his wife....

Anyway last Sunday Jac went to pick him up to do some shopping, and then
bring him back for supper, and called to say she was taking him to
hospital as he was bleeding rectally. It was a bad night and he needed
a transfusion etc. but in the morning they went in and found a ruptured
diverticuli (sp) and cauterised and he's stopped bleeding. Anyway He's
going to be in till Sunday at least. We stopped by to see him last
evening, and found him looking really old. He's fairly cheerful, but
they do have him on oxygen all the time, and a drip, and on a liquid
only diet. He looked very frail....but as we have all noticed, is in
surprisingly good humour about being in hospital. He does not enjoy
looking after himself at the best of times, and is I suspect dreading
going home. One gets the feeling he would love to stay put for a
while, and certainly until he is given solid food etc. he would have
trouble on his own - and none of us have spare bedrooms or anything like
that. And selfishly for me this could not have happened at a worse time.

Jacqui is finally really applying herself to something (going to
college), Laur is really battling his adjustment from worker to college,
and is dealing with a couple of other negatives in his life, and I am
having to work as long hours as possible till next Friday when I take
off for a week with overseas visitors.... Our other 2 kids are not in
much better shape. Craig & Pam live 50km west of London, Craig works
long hours, Pam coaches skating which means she works odd hours, Brooke
has just started school this month, so chidlcare has become so much more
complex for them now. Penny & Dave live 50km east of here, and Dave is
in the process of negotiating another job, and his present one keeps him
traveling a lot, Penny started a new job in Sept, and has to be away at
times - like next week when she will be gone all week doing field work,
and their 2 little boys will need me to pick them up at least once as a
result when dad has to be away...

So please remember us all in thoughts and prayers. I have this horrible
feeling deep inside that this is not going to be a simple thing to deal
with - and am not happy at the thought that I will be away when my kids
might be needing me most. I have arranged for a couple of friends of
mine to join us for part of the stay in Algonquin Park so if I had to I
could rush back and not leave my visitors stranded....

feeling a tad stressed

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