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Archiver > GENBRIT > 2001-07 > 0994072556


From: Barney Tyrwhitt-Drake <>
Subject: Cedric's saga - part 2.
Date: Mon, 2 Jul 2001 12:15:56 +0100
References: <VtP%6.114393$Uo3.2585877@news6.giganews.com>


In article <>,
writes
>"JimHS" <> wrote...
>
>> <> wrote in message
>> news:...
>>
>> > "my gt-gt-uncle Cedric"....."donned only in his nightshirt and a
>> > sleeping cap with a bobble on the end which was several sizes too
>> > large for him and kept slipping down over his eyes and ears, thus
>> > giving the impression that he was hooded."
>>
>>
>> If so, not only was the bobble on the end several sizes too large for him
>> but, slipping down over his eyes and ears, it must have been a danger to
>> anyone who ventured to approach him.
>> For all his faults, nocturnal or otherwise, Cedric must have had an
>> exceptionally strong neck.
>> Or was what I read not what you thought you had written?<<
>
>I TAKE your point, pedantic though it may be. Perhaps it was slightly
>ambiguous. I meant of course that it was the cap that was several
>sizes too large, not the bobble.
>
>I omitted to mention, BTW, that gt-gt-Uncle Cedric also had a wooden
>leg which often used to creak somewhat alarmingly in wet weather,
>even when oiled. This plus the apparition he presented in his
>nightgown and over-sized cap around his eyes and ears naturally made
>him a target of some wonderment and not a little apprehension when he
>was engaged on his nocturnal wanderings.
>
>The wooden leg was a problem in another way, too, since when in
>strong drink he had a habit of unstrapping it to ease his stump and
>then leaving the leg in hostelries, hopping home on his good one.
>That false leg was always being returned to my poor gt-gt-aunt from
>taverns as far apart as York and Northallerton. Family folklore has
>it that Cedric lost a leg at the Battle of Heckmondwike, as it was
>dubbed, in 1858 - actually a violent confrontation at football
>between two pub teams from the Rat and Strumpet and the Partridge and
>Ferret - but so far my researches have failed to authenticate this
>legend.
>
>I am fortunate, however, in that the false leg passed down through
>the family to me and now occupies pride of place in our dining room,
>where it is often commented upon by visitors. I tell them that it is
>a proud family heirloom of my ancestor, who lost a leg in the service
>of his country.
>
The truth as often is rather more prosaic. After a surplus of Sid
Sidebottom's Lancashire ale, poor Cedric collapsed in the path of the
Manchester to Sheffield night mail. Owing to the excellent analgesic
properties of this libation he was later able to hop home without
problem, although he could not recall what happened. Not for nothing was
Sid's brew dubbed 'Milk of Amnesia'.

(For those who missed Part 1, Sid was an illegal importer of duty-free
Lancastrian ale who was cuckolding Cedric.)
--
Barney Tyrwhitt-Drake

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