GenHumor-L Archives

From: "Edna Wakeham" <>
Subject: [GENHUMOR] This and that from Suz
Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:03:42 -0600

When Chatty Chelsea received her latest phone bill she said in dismay, "I
guess I reached out and touched too many people this month."
=====
Whatever happened to good news:
Nowadays you listen to the evening news and then you pick up the morning
paper and right away you're filled to the brim---with grim.
=====
A grandfather, a widower in his 70s, has become friendly with a widow who
lives next door to him. They spend much of their time together. When his
family learned that they had taken a trip and shared a motel room, his son
questioned the propriety of it. .

"That's ridiculous!" snorted the Grandpa. "Anything we don't do at home, we
can just as easily not do in a motel room!"
======

Vincent Canby, film critic of the New York Times, describing the musical
score of a sentimental movie - "After listening to the music for more than
two hours, you get an idea of what it would have been like to be in Pompeii
that fatal day had Vesuvius been full of butterscotch instead of lava."
======
Like a ten ton cake, the world is more than anyone can eat at one sitting -
select of a piece of it, and then enjoy the party.
======-
An Omaha motorist bouncing along, having his insides jolted to jelly by
chuckholes, reports seeing an official looking sign stuck in the dirt along
the roadside.

It said, "Caution---Simulated Moon Surface."
======
April showers may bring May flowers to other parts of the world, but not to
Minnesota.
There the season's song goes: "April blizzards freeze your gizzards!"
======
Rowe Humphrey's aunt, who had been left a widow when her daughter was a
baby, was unaware of the sports mania of the average American male. When she
spent Thanksgiving with her mother, she was shocked at the amount of time
her father spent watching football on TV.

She visited again in April,only to find the father once again in front of
the TV, this time avidly watching baseball. "My goodness!" the aunt
exclaimed. "Isn't the ball season over yet?"

"Oh, the ball season is never over," The man's wife said in a discouraged
voice. "First they kick it, then they bounce it, then they hit it with a
club."
======

"On our anniversary, I told my husband, "I know I married you for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer, but I've changed my mind. I'm ready now
for better and richer."
===============
The person you are on the outside can never be more successful than the
person you are on the inside.
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• [GENHUMOR] This and that from Suz by "Edna Wakeham" <>