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Archiver > HUNGARY > 2002-11 > 1036753911


From:
Subject: Re: [HUNGARY-L] ReDigest V02 #406-Soltesz/Matisz
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2002 06:11:51 EST


In a message dated 11/7/2002 9:50:45 AM US Eastern Standard Time,
writes:

<< On his baptism record, his father is listed as a Joseph Soltesz. Just
three
weeks later (yes WEEKS!) his mother marries another man, Steve Matisz, >>

Hi

I just wanted to comment that quick marriages after the death of a spouse
were not at all uncommon, in fact, they were the normal thing to do. I don't
interpret this set of facts as indicating (by themselves) that any type of
'hanky panky" so to speak was going on at all. Although you don't mention
any years, the practice of marrying very soon after being widowed was done
all the time, but of course declined as single parents found it economically
feasible to raise children. Marriages were not generally for love, they were
either arranged, or undertaken for very practical reasons like preserving the
family when male/females roles were very much defined. They were about money
and survival. What else was a mother with small children supposed to do
EXCEPT get married again. What was a widower with small children supposed to
do except find another women to care for his children? Anyone who has
researched the old church records can tell you that remarriages within days,
weeks, or a few months were a common occurrence among the common folk.

The 'hush hush" of the Aunt could have been for any number of reasons -
including the possibility that she adhered to some sort of folklore belief
about not talking about the dead. People lived with different behavior rules
and beliefs that guided how they behaved than what WE generally follow today.
It does not automatically mean that some sort of shady situation existed I
don't believe.

The evidence that your ggf received mail from both families and both called
him brother would make sense in a family of *step* siblings. Of course, I
don't know all the details, and it seems that there is the added confusion of
some folks being on this side of the pond, and some of the family being in
Hungary?? so this complicates the picture for sure. I suspect you have
already attempted to do this, but finding a marriage document to Soltesz,
finding his death record and especially an obituary record (did it occur here
in USA?), would help clear things up. How about a burial record in cemeteries
at this location? One would normally think his death may have occurred in
same locale as birth of your grandfather and remarriage of his mother.
(again, I'm assuming that all the players in these events were on the same
side of the pond) Did they live anywhere in the USA where you could research
City Directories to perhaps find Soltesz name listed to prove he existed?.
Maybe a county court (if death was here in the US) might have a probate
record after his death. Was he by any chance alive and therefore required to
register in the 1917 draft in the USA (ALL men of required age had to do this
- alien or otherwise) because if so, you can obtain this registration which
will give details of any wife or children. These are ***just guesses*** of
course in the absence of knowing any timeframes for your families events --
and guesses that someone somewhere was in the USA, which they might not have
been. If you know for sure that the letters were from people in Hungary, is
a village location given and do the church or civil records there have any
more info on Soltesz marriage or death?

Anyway, you may have already attempted all of the above, but if not, maybe
the ideas or the approach will spur you past the brickwall. Hope you have
success.

Linda

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