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Archiver > ILMONTGO > 2004-03 > 1079882585


From: "Mary Rickett" <>
Subject: [ILMONTGO] Fw: pretty funny
Date: Sun, 21 Mar 2004 09:23:05 -0600


Judy
----- Original Message -----
From: cr<mailto:>
To: MARIE ACOSTA<mailto:> ; JUDY RICKETT<mailto:> ; JO/LARRY<mailto:> ; JAMES BEARD<mailto:> ; HELEN GASS<mailto:> ; ED/KATHY TIGGER<mailto:> ; DEE 39<mailto:> ; ALICE<mailto:>
Sent: Saturday, March 20, 2004 3:44 PM
Subject: Fw: pretty funny




>
>
> > 1. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said
> > the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came
> > down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
> > aside to correct him. "Do you know what pregnant
> > means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy
> > confidently. "It means carrying a child."
> >
> > 2. One morning, a grandmother was surprised by her 7
> > year old grandson. He had made her coffee. She drank
> > what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When
> > she got to the bottom, there were three of those
> > little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey,
> > what are the army men doing in my coffee?" Her
> > grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV -'The
> > best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"
> >
> > 3. Susie asked her Sunday School class to draw
> > pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was
> > puzzled by Jimmy's picture, which showed four people
> > on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was
> > meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Jimmy.
> > "I see. And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby
> > Jesus," Ms. Susie said, "But who's the fourth person?"
> > "Oh, that's Pontius-The-Pilot."
> >
> > 4. An exasperated mother, whose son was always
> > getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you
> > expect to get into heaven?" The boy thought it over
> > and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and
> > out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
> > "For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in, or stay out."
> >
> > 5. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station
> > wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
> > zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
> > truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
> > discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep
> > crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another,
> > "he's just for good luck." A third child brought he
> > argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said
> > firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
> >
> > 6. Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother
> > smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that,
> > Mommy?" he said. "To make myself beautiful," said his
> > mother, who then began removing the cream with a
> > tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Johnny, "Giving up?"
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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> >
>


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