INCRAWFO-L Archives

From: Virginia Phelps <>
Subject: Re: [INCRAWFORD] Delicate subjects
Date: Mon, 07 Aug 2000 09:50:49 -0700

Janet,

You have, indeed, brought up an interesting topic. I've wobbled around on this sort of decision myself as to
what to do about maintaining facts that are uncovered in research but which may cause a potential stir among
family.

I use the Family Tree Maker software and I leave the "accepted" names and dates in the regular fields but then
put the real information in the Notes section. When printing or sending electronic copies of various family
lines I have a choice as to whether or not to include the Notes. Then I make the decision as to what to reveal
based on who it is that will be receiving the information. This saves me from having to maintain two databases
...I know I would not be able to do that successfully!

Some people actually get a chuckle from finding out that grandfather was really his Aunt's son (same father)
while a few would be scandalized to the end of their days. But I do feel that when my descendants find my
genealogy database after I'm gone, they deserve to be able to discover the truth too. In fact, these surprises
are part of what keeps me so interested in family history. "Facts" can really be quite nebulous and that's an
important lesson in life to learn. When things just don't seem to add up, they probably don't!

My rule of thumb is that if the uncovered information has anything to do with the nuclear family of a living
person, I most likely will leave the story as commonly told. But if living persons are at least one generation
removed (and they weren't raised by their grandparents or some such) then I am more likely to reveal the truth,
taking into consideration the recipient's interest and personality.

Virginia

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