KYBRACKE-L Archives

Archiver > KYBRACKE > 2000-09 > 0969540898


From: "Jean Dalrymple" <>
Subject: [KYBRACKE] TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS?
Date: Thu, 21 Sep 2000 05:54:58 -0700


I am sending this to all my list as it is one of the best tips that I have
rec'd..... Sandi is SO correct here....
Have a great day..... Jeannie <>< List Mom

-----Original Message-----
From:Sandi Gorin [mailto:]
Sent:Thursday, September 21, 2000 5:02 AM
To:
Subject:TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS?

TIP #309 - WHAT REALLY COUNTS?
I hope you will let me ramble a bit for today's tip; it is really a re-run
of an earlier tip, but has been brought to mind again during this past week.
As I grow older, I find myself wishing how much I had asked more questions
when family members were still with us. My family is dwindling down to a
precious few and along with the feeling of loss of their leaving, I think of
how much I didn't know about them. Oh, I have all the dates of birth and
death, where and when they were married and all the children. But what do I
know about them as a person? What precious memories are gone forever?
In all our efforts to get every vital statistic right so we can join the
DAR, SAR, Colonial Dames - whatever, have we forgotten that we are dealing
with real people? People that lived, loved, hurt, felt pride, worked hard,
people who mattered whether they were descended from some famous king or
queen, president or outlaw. Or have we become so determined to get every
date right, and every pedigree box filled in that we've forgotten what they
did, who they were and what legacy they left us? I think sometimes we need
to go back to square one and start treating our ancestors with a little more
respect!!
Of course, we all have family that are so illusive that the only proof we
have of their existence is that we are here! But, lets think back just a
couple or more generations and be thankful we at least have the names on the
ones for whom we can find no biographical information.
My daughter was recently given a family history book created by Thomas
Kincaide, the famous 'Painter of Lights" that I like so much. In looking
through it, I was deeply impressed about the type of data asked for. It had
the regular family history information of course, but other questions that
stirred up memories in my heart were there too. What was your grandma's
favorite recipe? Where did they live, in what kind of a house? What songs
were popular then, who were their best friends? What hobbies did they have,
where did they go to church, what was their favorite teacher's names, etc.
It got me really thinking again on how much I didn't know about my own
family! On living family members, of whom there are less than one hand's
worth in counting, I can go back and ask. But my precious grandparents and
great-grandparents - unless my mother remembers, I will never know.
In 1971, I became interested in genealogy, really before I could spell the
word! I made a long distance call to my aunt in Tucson who I knew was
tracing her family and my uncles and asked her what to do. She gave me a 1/2
hour lesson in family tree searching that has served me down to the present
time. She stressed people first, statistics later. She mailed me an audio
tape that she had from my grandfather who has been dead for almost 20 years.
She had asked him questions such as the above and he was older and got
flustered and couldn't remember. So she left him her tape recorder. Lo and
behold, he got messing with the tape and mailed it to her a couple of months
later. She made me a copy and it is so cherished. He really "got into it"
and not only told stories of his childhood, but sang old coal mining songs
from Southern Illinois, told about the politics of the day, illnesses,
triumphs, hard times on the farm - an hour of tape covering 80 years of his
life. I cherish it! Then, about 10 years ago, I asked my Mom to give me her
life story and she made 2 tapes for me (which need to be updated). Her
hands were getting arthritic and it was hard for her to write, but she was
quite at home with a tape recorder and told of her life on the farm, growing
up in a tiny town in central Illinois, the hardships, the joys, my birth,
the birth and death of my brother. My precious Dad left us in 1996, and he
couldn't write too well, but he was a talker. I never got him to make me a
tape, but with my memories and those of his only living sister, we have
reconstructed most of his life of growing up prior to the Great Depression,
World War II and onward.
Now, I am doing the same for my two daughters. I have the "luxury" of doing
it on the computer. Whenever I have a few minutes, rare it seems, I plunk
out another chapter of my life. Many times years later in my life story, my
memory will be jogged of something, and I will add an "interlude" - a
chapter of missed memories. I have 20 chapters done now - the girls are both
getting a hard copy and a computer disk. Fancy memories? Not really. I
don't descend from anyone famous, a lot of our family must have hid out when
something important happened. But I can tell them of growing up in a small
town and knowing all of my classmates from 1st grade on, of lonliness, of
friends, of events that happened during those years such as the launching of
Sputnik and our fears to go out on the playground thinking a Russian
satellite was photographing us. Of elections, the Korean and Viet Nam War.
My times of feeling like a klutz playing girl's basketball or trying to
dance, of meeting their daddy, their births.
I have also kept a diary for both girls since the day they were born. Plus,
I kept my own diary which meant 3 diary entries a day. When they were old
enough, I gave the girls their own diaries and begged them to keep them
up --which they are. They know what happened every day of their lives less
maybe 5 days over the many years. And, being smaltzy, I made them great big
scrapbooks - all the cards they have ever received, pieces of the wrapping
paper from their gifts, birth announcements, shower presents, lists of toys
they like to play with. And pictures - about 30 albums full over the years -
friends, events, places. Since we've lived in 5 states, there is something
there from every house we've lived in, every town.
Now, it's their problem on how to find room for all their "memories", but it
has worked. They actively keep records of their lives; one married now and
one serious. Statistically, for some patriotic organization, this would
mean nothing. But for me, for them, it IS their life! So, along with being
able to quote their ancestors back many generations, they know that
great-aunt Lizzie was a Bohemian and the life the party; another aunt was a
great poker player; Uncle Frederick invented the space bar on the
typewriter, Rev. Marcellus was thrown into the brig during the Civil War for
being on the wrong side of the fence in the Civil War; their grandmother was
a great horsewoman (on the farm, never professionally); their grandpa never
knew his father who was killed accidentally when he was three years old; and
the adventures of their mother taking flying lessons. They know when they
were sick and of what, who got into a little girl's squabble with who and
how they did on their report cards. It is a walk back in time with their
family and they both love it.
So, after many paragraphs, what I'm trying to say is ... record it! We need
those dates and places, but we need to know the people who match those dates
and places. We are what they were in so many ways, the same genes run in our
body, their blood flows in our veins. Their illnesses might effect us later,
their reactions to situations many time are shown in how we respond. When
they made mistakes, we can learn from their errors and hopefully, not repeat
them. When they succeeded, we can not only take pride, but strive to match
their goals and exceed them. When great grandpa slaved over a horse drawn
plow and at night stared at the stars; our children might be on a space ship
soaring between them. Where they had discord in marriage or family, we can
strive to be on the alert to see what we can do to not have the same.
If you can get the family members to make a tape, write it down, or dictate
it to you ... save it, cherish it for it is a shadow of you and of your
descendants.
(c) Copyright 21 September 2000, Sandra K. Gorin. All Rights Reserved.

Col. Sandi Gorin, 205 Clements, Glasgow, KY 42141 (270) 651-9114
Member: Glasgow-Barren Co Chamber of Commerce
Publishing: http://ggpublishing.tripod.com/
<><
TIPS: http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Tips KYBIOS:
http://cgi.rootsweb.com/~genbbs/genbbs.cgi/USA/Ky/Bios SCKY ARCHIVES:
http://searches.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/listsearch.pl Surname Registry:
http://sckyregistry.homestead.com/SCKYHome.html Merged Surname Registry all
counties in South Central KY:
http://www.public.asu.edu/~moore/files/surnames/surnames.txt

==== KYRESEARCH Mailing List ====



This thread: