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Archiver > LANCSGEN > 1997-12 > 0882574673

From: John Kemp <>
Subject: Fw: Santa Fraud........
Date: Fri, 19 Dec 1997 23:37:53 -0000

Thought that you might find this of interest as it is the Christmas
season. It came from our e-mail system at work, I am a bit doubtful
of the maths though.

Kindest regards

John Kemp
Gloucester UK
>
>Dear all,
>I head off North of the border this evening so I hope you all have an
>excellent Christmas and a cracking Hogmanay..........but before I
>go......a few thoughts;
>
>
>No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of
>living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
>insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
>which only Santa has ever seen.
>
>There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT
>since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
>Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total -
378
>million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
>(census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
>homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
>
>Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
>time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
>west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per
second.
>This is to say that for each Christian household with good children,
>Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump
>down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
>presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back
>up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next
>house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly
>distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false
>but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now
>talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million
>miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once
>every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh
>is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound.
For
>purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the
>Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a
>conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
>
>that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2
>pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who
>is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer
>can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying
reindeer"
>(see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do
>the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This
>increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh -
>to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the
weight
>of the Queen Elizabeth.
>
>353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
>resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
>space crafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
>reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second.
>Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously,
>exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms
in
>their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26
>thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to
>centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound
>Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of
>his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
>
>In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
>
>Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year
>
>Alastair
>

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