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Archiver > LONDON > 2002-04 > 1018860547


From: "Skyler" <>
Subject: Re: [Lon] encouragement
Date: Mon, 15 Apr 2002 20:51:25 +1200
References: <02eb01c1e3c4$ca12a800$71d593c3@lovegrove> <3CB9A4F3.EDD36640@mnsi.net> <00ba01c1e454$c930f820$bee38690@default>


Only if you can remember the event Terry :-)
Chris
----- Original Message -----
From: Terry Warren <>
To: <>
Sent: Monday, April 15, 2002 8:01 PM
Subject: Re: [Lon] encouragement


> Apologies for loading up your email download even more, but ........
>
> In all this family history malarky it seems the only thing I can be REALLY
> sure about is who my Mother is!
>
> Cheers to all ......
>
> PS. Please excuse the grammar ...............
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alison Causton" <>
> To: <>
> Sent: Monday, April 15, 2002 1:52 AM
> Subject: Re: [Lon] encouragement
>
>
> Sandra Lovegrove wrote:
> >
> > << I have, this week, just found my
> > <<grandmother. I knew nothing about her - not her name; her
> > whereabouts, her
> > <<husband's name or anything. My father refused to speak of her.
> >
> > Well done! I think it is so unfair of parents who refuse to tell their
> > children about their own history. Ill-feeling between older generations
> > should not deprive future generations of knowing their own roots.
> <snip>
>
> Oh, I certainly sympathize the frustration you express, but I don't know
> about the "unfairness"; guess I come down on the side of sympathizing
> with their misfortunes, including having had to bear the shame of it all
> at the time (rightly or wrongly, that's the way it was) ... In our
> family tree, three (maybe more!) out of eight great-grandparents have
> turned up with either irregular marriages, desertion by a father,
> children born outside of marriage, etc etc. The moraes of the time
> dictated that they should feel sufficient shame that they adopt the
> mantle of silence and, then, do what they had to do in order to atone
> and conform with society's standards, including emigration to put their
> pasts behind them. "Get thee hence", so to speak.
>
> My grandparents weren't talking about these past events, either; too
> painful, I should imagine. Finding this kind of information long, long
> after they've gone puts a human face on their parent's vital statistics.
> Also goes a long way to explaining many family dynamics that,
> otherwise, seemed inexplicable. In our case, even helped to explain why
> one of the great-grandparents had acquired such a reputation for being
> "miserable".
>
> Learning what curves life had thrown them and how they managed to
> overcome or just cope with tremendous social sanctions, enhances my
> admiration of them; I can't imagine how they managed it with such grace,
> let alone survive. When they weren't contending with these social
> issues, some of them were having to lead itinerant existences in pursuit
> of employment, fending off famine, family members dying from regular
> epidemic visitations [typhus, cholera, etc], losing several children en
> route to Canada, landing on shores that were a whole lot less welcoming
> than was promised, three ended up widows in their thirties with lots of
> children and no social net to help them, WWI, the Depression, then WWII,
> etc etc. Makes my modern-day complaints pale by comparison.
>
> My (vastly devalued Cdn) 2ยข,
>
> Alison
>
>
> ==== LONDON Mailing List ====
> Genealogy & Local History in London, England:
>
> http://www.londonancestor.com/
>
>
>
>
> ==== LONDON Mailing List ====
> London and North Middlesex FHS web site:
> http://www.lnmfhs.dircon.co.uk/
>
>


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