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Archiver > LOWER-DELMARVA-ROOTS > 1998-12 > 0912750982


From: <>
Subject: Re: HUMOR
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 00:56:22 EST


In a message dated 12/4/98 1:08:03 AM, wrote:

<<

My good friend Herman Wood sent me this and, after introspection, feel that

I

have been borderline -- at times.

You may be a drunk if one or more of the following apply:

You frequently urinate outdoors.

You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die, and a half hour

later you're afraid you won't.

You fall asleep taking a dump.

You believe that spilling a beer is Alcohol abuse.

You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.

Find its easier to study drunk

You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center

Beer ads make sense.

You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet, and you

are so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.

You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties

left sitting around the room.

You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.

You need to take witnesses with you to confession because you can't exactly

remember what you did and the priest wouldn't believe you anyway.

You mix your cocktails by the liter.

You grow a beard because it stops beer thats running down your chin.

You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic zen like

piss.

You wake up in the gutter, spit out several broken teeth, haul yourself

to your feet, brush yourself off, and think "Shit, this is no way for a

Bishop to behave..."

You explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft "mainly on

beer and women; the rest I just wasted".

When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.

You wake up the night after a party to put your clothes on and there

aren't any.

>>

I think that you selected the wrong forum for this!

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