MDSTMARY-L Archives

From: Linda Reno <>
Subject: [MDSTMARY-L] St. Mary's County
Date: Sat, 02 Feb 2002 08:47:55 -0500

I thought everyone might enjoy this, so I'm sending it along.

This is from the County Tourism Department for St Mary's County. This
list of rules will be handed to each person as they arrive:

1. That slope-shouldered Amish boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym. How'd you
like to go
home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a Amish guy
in bib
overalls?

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're
going
to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need
it. Now
drive or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah,
we
saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
your
butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an
idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final
approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear
at the time.

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order Seafood. Order
it
often. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds
of
ham and turkey.

8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of
sugar and a long spoon.

9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.

10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have
quarter-million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town. We stop
when it's red. We even stop when it's yellow.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So,
you're
a feminist. Isn't that cute.

13. Yeah, we eat catfish, stripers, and turtle too. If you really want
sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.

14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't
like it? Route 5 and Route 235 go two ways....get on one of them.

15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and deer season.
They
are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.

16. So what if every person in every pickup waves? It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
spooks the fish.

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• [MDSTMARY-L] St. Mary's County by Linda Reno <>