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From: Lauren Boyd <>
Subject: [MURPHY-L] Tip: Time to write your Family Stories
Date: Mon, 06 Jan 2003 11:12:33 -0800

Dear Cousins:

Most of us spend all of our time collecting as much as we
can on our dead ancestors. We need to remember to write our
own life stories for those that come after us. And to do it
now, while our memories are clear. I am sure I remembered a
lot more when I was 20 or 30 than what easily comes to mind now.

Some suggestions are:

actually take pen to paper -- there is something creative about
this act. Things can just flow from brain to hand. And it has
an added bonus that your descendants will have something written
in your own hand. Such a treat! You can type it up as well to
save electronically.

begin a sentance and see where it leads you --- you don't have to
have a specific scenario in mind.

play music from a specific time in your life --- music seems to
imprint itself in some magic way in our lives and invokes memory
of when we heard it first, where we were, what our surroundings
looked like [in detail!], even what the weather may have been like
or aromas we experienced. A song can bring to mind a particular
person at a particular time in your life.... "Canadian Sunset"
always brings my sister Betsy to mind, when she was younger than
19. She was 16 years my senior.

use aromas to invoke memories --- there are certain scents that
you associate with times in your life, places, people, events.
Bacon cooking -- brings me back to my summer home on Sunday mornings.
Bay Rum Cologne -- brings back memories of my father at Christmas.
Toll house cookies baking -- rainy days after school.
What aromas do you have at hand to invoke your memories of days past?

get out the photo album or the shoe box of photos --- write down
the story that comes to mind about the photo or what you recall of
the day it was taken. While you are at it -- write down who is
in the photo! Don't leave your descendants wondering who the heck
the people in the pictures are. Be sure to use real names, not
just gems like "Babe and me 1932."

take a look at the heirlooms in your home -- consider not only what
your elders left to you, but also what you are leaving for the next
generation as an heirloom. Write about its place in your life or
the person that it came from. How did you come to have it in your
possession? What do you know of its history? I have my mother's
stuffed Stief lion. "It's only a stuffed animal." Well, that is
what my father thought in the 1930's when he threw away my mother's grandmother's stuffed
lion she had saved. The one I have is its replacement. And all of my mother's
grandchildren and now great grandchildren associate Lions with my mother. They think of
her whenever they see one. She did not collect them, but they buy them in her memory.

examine the milestones in history that occurred during your lifetime --
Where were you when the Berlin Wall came down?
Where were you when Kennedy died? Nixon resigned? Thatcher came to office?
Where were you when the Viet Nam Conflict ended?
Where were you when the men landed on the moon?
What are your memories about the Korean Conflict, World War II, rationing?
Who was the President/National Leader that had the greatest effect on how your life
is/was?
How did the Great Depression affect your family?
What contraptions have been invented during your lifetime?
What invention/scientific breakthrough would most surprise your Ancestors
or surprise your descendents did not exist before you were born?
Who was the storyteller you remember in your family?

take a trip to the library or the garage and look at old magazines and
newspapers --- note the clothing styles, modern appliances, vehicle design.
What memories do they invoke? Share the details of your first experience
driving a car! What hair styles were popular? Did you get the Mom haircut of bowl over
head and scissors trim around? Did you "die of shame" as a
teen when the swimming pool turned your hair green? And why was that not
a good thing?<g>

as you do your household chores --- consider.... how were they different
when you were a child? What were your responsibilities? What tools did
you use? My gawd! What the heck is a mangle!<g> it surely does not sound
like a good thing to use on anything, even clothes.

Make a pact with yourself to write. To do it now. To make a schedule
of when you will or how often. A holiday memory with each holiday? A
weekly paragraph or page on a topic? Check in with yourself monthly or
quarterly? No less than every year on your birthday or Christmas? Or
on the ocassion of each of your children or grandchildren's birthdays,
share a story or memory that revolves around them. Save it for when
you are no longer here.

My mother was a diary keeper. Her diary had a name and she wrote
letters to it. Her entries began, "Dear Tim....." This might be
a way to make it easier to keep writing. Correspond with yourself.

Don't worry about perfect writing. The object is to get your thoughts
out of your brain and onto paper. Don't keep your memories locked in
a file cabinet that will disappear when you do. You or your descendants
can always polish the grammar, spelling and order of the stories later.
Writing too tiresome? Get out the tape recorder and talk with yourself.
Invite an interested descendant to transcribe your ramblings or do it
your self.

You might even consider sharing a memory or two now and again with
the list. It may spur them on to sit down and write.

Slainte!

Lauren

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