NYALBANY-L Archives

From: "Barbara Bolster-Barrett" <>
Subject: [NYALBANY] out of the mouths of babes
Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2001 08:12:40 -0500

Enjoy...


Why We Love Children:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She
said, Mommy, you are getting fat! I replied, Yes, honey, remember Mommy
has a baby growing in her tummy. I know, she replied, but what is growing
in your butt?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.... Da-ad.... What? Im thirsty. Can you bring drink of
water?
No. You had your chance. Lights out. Five minutes later:
Da-aaaad..... WHAT? Im THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?? I told you
NO! If you ask again, Ill have to spank you!! Five minutes
later......Daaaa-aaaad..... WHAT! When you come in to spank me, can you
bring a drink of water?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief finally
asked him, How do you expect to get into Heaven? The boy thought it over
and said, Well, Ill run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says, For Heavens sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a
mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light
when he asked with a tremor in his voice, Mommy, will you sleep with me
tonight? T he mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. I cant
dear, she said. I have to sleep in Daddys room.
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
The big sissy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the childrens
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the pastor leaned over and said, That is a very pretty dress. Is
it your Easter Dress?
The little girl replied, directly into the pastors clip-on microphone,
Yes, and my Mom says its a bitch to iron.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the
teacher said, Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly
faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Bobby looked up and
replied, Well, Mrs. Smith, you cant say you werent warned.

I've always wanted to be somebody but I see now I should've been more
specific. - Lily Tomlin

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• [NYALBANY] out of the mouths of babes by "Barbara Bolster-Barrett" <>