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Archiver > NYMADISO > 2000-08 > 0965437651


From: "jeanpayton" <>
Subject: [NYMADISO] Re: grave stones
Date: Fri, 4 Aug 2000 21:07:31 -0400


There is no law on any books here in the USA concerning cremated remains.
You can do what ever you choose to do with the remains. My husband has
worked for a cemetery for many years and there are no laws governing the
disposal of cremated remains. My husband and I have chosen as my parents
have to be cremated and we have left instructions as to the disposal of our
remains. We have selected a place in which we want to have our remains
placed as my parents have asked us to scatter their remains out on the
Atlantic Ocean so that they may travel to all of the places they had been to
together one more time.. When my father died in 1959 he was buried in a
regular cemetery and the stone is there and when my mother passes on I am
simply going to have her death date engraved on the stone after all she has
already paid for it. So the :Green Burial" is allowed any where you chose it
to be. You know back in the 1800s many people were buried on their farms
and or properties and that can still be done today as along as you get the
necessary permits and etc. as long as they are cremated.
I also want to ask this question. Who is going to know what you did or do
with the cremation remains at any rate. Only your family and God that is
who.

As to the Cemeteries that we have now that are our history, everyone in eah
of our states should be ashamed of the way our ancestors have not been taken
care of. All though the researchers of today have to deal with Cityies,
Towns, Counties and States, we should all stand up and be counted and force
these Cities, Towns, Counties and States to clean up our historical
cemeteries. Lets all contact our congressman and Senators and apply
pressure to them to get our cemeteries cleaned up the way they should be.

I was in New York lst summer and I visited two Cemeteries I was interested
in and one was in Madison County (Gill Farm Cemetery) and the other one in
Dutchess County (Spencer Burying Grounds). These two cemeteries were in
appallable poor state. I had offered to pay for the cleanning up of the
Gill Farm Cemetery and also pay for the cost of the Sign and I was told by
the Madison County Historical Society that the County wouldn't do it even if
I paid to have the work done. But you know what they were more concerned
with the Native American Reservation who had a casino and also sold gasoline
for a lot less than the towns were. People wouldn't go to the reservation
and spend less on gasoline because they weren't receiving a cut of the money
the casinos and reservation took in. They provided employment but that
didn't count. These people are really stupid in Madison County. Their
priorities are not in order because it doesn't give them a cut of the pie.
Jean

----- Original Message -----
From: "Carol E. Valantine Dugger" <>
To: <>
Sent: Friday, August 04, 2000 6:00 PM
Subject: grave stones


> I have spent many years tramping through acres of cemeteries from all
> corners of the USA and in the UK and have learned a great deal from the
> experience. #1 is when trying to have a gravestone that will survive
> for very long it had better be some sort of metal substance. I believe
> the bronze ones have done fairly well but surely now there must be some
> other metal that is better. The engraved stones become weather beaten,
> covered with moss or mildew or lichen and eventually are unreadable, not
> to mention the cracking, being tipped over or covered with grass, weeds
> and brambles when the cemetery isn't cared for. In the USA we are
> restricted as to where cremated remains can be scattered so I am not
> certain a "green" burial would be an option here, though I do like the
> idea. Sadly there aren't near enough open spaces to do that sort of
> thing here now.
>
> My sister and I solved the problem by reserving a niche in our parish
> church, an idea which I believe our church borrowed from our Anglican
> cousins :), but is relatively newish in CA. We both laughed and said it
> was probably the only way we would ever get our children to go to
> church.
>
> Along those lines, there was an article on the www not too long ago that
> discussed how to properly clean deteriorating gravestones. I believe
> they said to never use anything but a soft toothbrush and plain water.
> I wondered how it would be possible to get some of that old stuck-on
> lichen off with a soft toothbrush--more like steel wool and chlorox!--
> but really, that is what it said. So now I try to behave myself and take
> along a toothbrush to the cemeteries when I go a Stompin'!
>
> Carol Valantine Dugger
> Napa, CA
>
>
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