OHALLEN-L Archives

Archiver > OHALLEN > 1998-05 > 0895490243


From: Jodie Shiver <>
Subject: [OHALLEN-L] [Fwd: Fw: A funny ........ thanks Karen]
Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 06:17:23 -0500


Received: from mail1.bellsouth.net (mail1.bellsouth.net [205.152.0.6])
by mail.lig.bellsouth.net (8.8.8-spamdog/8.8.5) with ESMTP id FAA00074
for <>; Mon, 18 May 1998 05:43:37 -0400 (EDT)
Received: from new-kyoko.mpx.com.au (new-kyoko.mpx.com.au [203.2.75.38])
by mail1.bellsouth.net (8.8.8-spamdog/8.8.5) with ESMTP id FAA02534;
Mon, 18 May 1998 05:42:02 -0400 (EDT)
Received: from dialup.mpx.com.au(really [203.17.139.96]) by new-kyoko.mpx.com.au
via smtpd with smtp
id <>
for <>; Mon, 18 May 98 19:39:52 +1000
(/\##/\ Smail3.1.30.13.SOL #30.20 built 28-jun-97)
Message-ID: <004b01bd8240$da30f000$>
From: "Mary Grimson" <>
To: "Zelda" <>, "Willem Dubelaar" <>,
"Wilfred" <>,
"Wendy Seychew" <>,
"tony" <>,
"Toni Hayes" <>, "Tim" <>,
"THE GOOD AIR GUYS" <>,
"Terry Maugeri" <>, "Tafkan" <>,
"Suhasini Ahluwalia" <>,
"Steven Nelson" <>,
"Steven Facto" <>,
"Steve Morgan" <>,
"Stephen Carlyon" <>,
"Stephen" <>,
"Sharafat Hussain" <>,
"Sash" <>, "Ron Nemyo" <>,
"Robert Lockwood" <>,
"Rick Rehall" <>,
"Richard Harris" <>,
"Randy & Janet Fisher" <>,
"Peter & Sandra Smith" <>,
"Peggi" <>,
"Pauline Olthof" <>,
"Pat Rushleau" <>, "Pantha" <>,
"Noel & Trish" <>,
"Ninna Isay" <>,
"Nicki Valentine" <>,
"Nicholas Londino, Jr" <>,
"Michelle Meno" <>,
"Michael Durham" <>,
"Matt Williamson" <>,
"Mark Paxton" <>,
"Mark Hollen" <>,
"Malek Muraywed" <>,
"M Rahman" <>, "Lindy Isherwood" <>,
"Linda Anderson" <>,
"Leonard Hudson Jr" <>,
"Lee Awmiller" <>,
"Laura Berry" <>, "Laura" <>,
"Kim & Liz Burgess" <>,
"Kevin LeCount" <>, "Karen" <>,
"Joseph Coin" <>,
"Jorgen fallentin Holm" <>,
"Joni Alexander" <>,
"Jodie Shiver (Miley)" <>,
"Jodi Holler Mccullough" <>,
"jim king" <>, "Jim Courtney" <>,
"Jennifer Alcantara" <>,
"Jeffrey" <>, "Jean Gipson" <>,
"Jean" <>,
"Jackoline Dawe Crosby" <>,
"Jack Marks" <>,
"Ivory Johnson" <>,
"Ian J. Carter" <>,
"Hidetsugu Asada" <>,
"Guy Wernhard" <>,
"Grigory Rubinstein" <>,
"Grant Lauterbach" <>,
"Gilbert Garcia" <>, "geoff" <>,
"Gayle" <>,
"Galan Smithson" <>,
"Feather^" <>,
"Elizabeth Hutchinson" <>,
"Edward Petrullo" <>,
"Dundee" <>, "Donna Mosley" <>,
"Donna J. Capps" <>, "DjDennis" <>,
"Debra Walker" <>,
"Debra Fowler" <>,
"Dawn Gordon" <>,
"David Marshall" <>,
"David Hajjar" <>, "Dave Warlick" <>,
"Darkking" <>, "Danielle" <>,
"Daniel Griffin" <>,
"Dallin Heperi" <>, "D_Judge" <>,
"Craig Francis" <>,
"Cristina Bittencourt" <>,
"colleen" <>, "Colin" <>,
"Christopher Wagner" <>,
"Christopher Staltari" <>,
"Christee Brindzik" <>,
"Chris Abraham" <>, "Charles Blum" <>,
"Charlene Cullen" <>,
"Booga" <>,
"Bobby Kaye" <>, "BJ Connors" <>,
"Betty (BJ) Hoy" <>,
"Barbara" <>,
"Ayman Esmat" <>,
"Avis Davidson" <>,
"Andrew Gilsey" <>,
"Amanda Pike" <>,
"Alexander Daniels" <>,
"Albert Au" <>
Subject: Fw: A funny ........ thanks Karen
Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 19:38:45 +1000
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 4.72.2106.4
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.72.2106.4

Is your computer male or female?

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female
(e.g., "Steady as she goes," or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!").
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that
computers should also be referred to as being female.

Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow: Five reasons to believe
computers are female:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If
you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell
you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that
computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons
follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
are the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited
little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Of course I got this from a man!!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

HERE'S ONE FOR YOU

One day, Pinnochio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls and
wooden boys do. Later, as they were cuddling,
Pinnochio could tell something was bothering his girlfriend.
So he asked her, "What's the matter, baby?"

Pinnochio's girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied, "You're probably the
best guy I've ever met-- but every time we make love, you give me
splinters."

This remark bothered Pinnochio a great deal, so the next day he went to
seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto. When Pinnochio arrived, Gepetto
could tell something was bothering Pinnochio, and asked him what was wrong.
As Pinnochio revealed his dilemna,

Gepetto searched up and down for a solution. Eventually, he suggested that
sandpaper might be able to "smooth" out Pinnochio's relationship with his
girlfriend.

Pinnochio graciously thanked Gepetto and went on his way.

Gepetto did not hear from Pinnochio again and, therefore, assumed the
sandpaper had solved Pinnochio's problem.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto was in town having some blades sharpened at
the hardware store, and he ran into Pinnochio. When he saw Pinnochio buying
all the sandpaper the store had in stock, Gepetto remarked, "So Pinnochio,
things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?"

To which Pinnochio replied, "GIRLS? WHO NEEDS GIRLS???"

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

FLYING

There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her
business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her very, very nervous,
so she always took her Bible along with her to read as it helped relax her
on the long fights.

One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her
Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was
doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that
stuff in there do you?"

The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the
whale?"

The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I
will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically. "Then you can ask
him," replied the lady. Later, craig

This thread: