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Subject: [OKSEMINO] "The Census Taker's Home! (from the Sunday Afternoon Rocking series)
Date: Sun, 7 Jan 2001 08:02:07 EST

Even though it's in jest, it might closely explain why the census
records sometimes look the way they do: (Hope you enjoy)

"The Census Taker's Home! (from the Sunday Afternoon Rocking series)

Well, I'm surely glad to be home, that I am. I tell you another day
like this one and I am good mind just to fill them papers out on memory
and be done with it. Here, put these socks over there next to the fire
to dry out, will you? Got down yonder this mornin' and everyone in
Household 451 through 486 was gone. Some big shindig goin' on down
there. Good thing the folks in 441 could tell me who they all was.
Here, reckon you could go over some of
the writin' on this here page? Got smeared a bit in the rain. I think
you can 'cipher most of it out.

Then them folks down in the holler got suspicious over a census. Said,
and derned if they had a point, what difference did it make who they
was? Was them guvment folks up in Warshington going to come down here to
say howdy do? So they finally let me write down they last name and
first initial, but I think they wuz havin' a bit of fun with me when
they listed who lived in the house. Saw some winkin' goin' on and I
believe I got the same house a
youngins in two or three places. It been a day, woman. Honey, git that
paper out of Johnny's mouth, will ya? I worked all day on that thing,
and no call to let him go chewin' it up.

Went up the river a piece and tried to get that done 'fore it come a
downpour, but run into trouble there, too. Ole Man Jenkins' cur dog run
me off and I tell you, ain't no call to get eat up over such a thing as
this. They ort to be a limit what a man does for his country. Was
lucky a man down the road mostly knew Jenkins was nigh on sixty years
old and was living
there with his woman and five youngins from his first marriage plus a
passel from the second. We give em good Christian names. Best be doin'
something 'bout this pen. It give out on me halfway through. See you
havin' trouble, too. Johnny! Hand that here, boy!

And I tell you I would ruther fight grandpap's British than mess with
that feller out on the ridge. He got out his shotgun soon as he seen me
comin' and I went t'other direction. Had Jones tell me about him
instead, and he didn't rightly know the feller's first name. Said they
called him "Squirrel", and it was ok just to put that cause wasn't
nobody around here claimin' him no how, and they for sure didn't want
the guvment knowin' there was any relationship. That coffee done?

Then got over to Smiths, and ole Hoss was in a nervous fit so wasn't no
getting information there. His woman havin' another youngin and he
looked like he could run right through me when I went to askin' how many
youngins he had now. Hightailed it out of there, and Miz Hart helped me
straighten that household out. Think we got most of the names straight,
and as he has had a youngin a year for the last ten, ages purty close
too. Now look what Johnny
went and done!

I tell you, next time this come around I ain't gonna be no where in
sight. Farmin's a heap easier, and I figger they're folks 'round here
what can read and write and 'cipher and ain't no good fer nothing else
we can spare for this foolishness. Pass me another 'tater, will you?"

Copyright 2000JanPhilpot
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