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From: "Jill O'Neall Ching" <>
Subject: Cousin Stuff---Need advice by Friday.
Date: Sun, 22 Feb 1998 17:46:45 -1000


Hi ~
Some of you have come thru for me in the past and I am asking for some
words of wisdom;
advice.
Thirty-five years ago one of my best friends was my first cousin, she and
I visited each other every summer and had wonderful times being kids
together, we caught frogs in the watery ditch (seemed like a pond at the
time to us), we snuck up to the Mall together, we talked about s*x together
for the first time and lots more, we were pals and we loved each other
dearly.
When our late teen years hit we drifted apart and she moved farther away
and we never got together much, and we tried writing letters to keep in
touch but after a few years that dwindled away, it was sad to lose her
friendship. Once we got into a fight with letters and then we didn't write
after that, at least 20 years went by.

Two years ago I got in touch with her Mom (83 yrs old) to interview her
for my genealogy, since she was the last of my Mother's siblings, and I saw
my cousin again and since then we have talked a few times and correspond
with email. Well I invited her to come visit, she has been taking care of
both her parents and needs a break and I offered to have her come here and
she is coming on Friday, and I am so glad and anxious too.
We hardly know each other now, we are both 45 years old, she will be here
for 2 weeks and well, I wonder how to begin, I don't want to make a big
mistake and I want her to feel warm and welcome and also to relax, and I
want to interview her and add her children to my tree and so on. I want
this to be a gift to her and to myself and I want this to suceed, I think
it can, I hope so.
Soooooooo.........I am asking for any words of wisdom or advice on healing
family ties that you are willing to share with me, or encouragement. I
think I feel insecure!

Thanks to any who can respond.
Aloha, Jill

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