PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 17-Courtship & Marriage
Date: Wed, 12 Aug 1998 13:01:14 -0400

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

Since I wrote my last letter to you I've received a half dozen
letters from friends who want me to continue writing more. One old
lady asked me to write a letter about marriage, and since I don't
want to say no to this poor old lady, I'll try to put down my
thoughts on the subject as well as I can.

Courting is much the same today as it was a hundred years
ago, but there was much more that you could do in those days. It
was a time when a young man could get a horse, a brand new
buggy, and a Saturday night bath after finishing the day's chores. He
could don his best suit of Kentucky jeans and take his girl out for a
ride over the stumpiest, rootiest, corner of the township roads.
After returning home after her parents were asleep in bed, he'd be

“Hinna in der kich
Ga-dichtich”

(Back in the kitchen
making love)

Things are not the same today. Railroads lead to practically
everywhere, and picnics are the style. A young man now spends too
much money on tickets and when the time comes for marrying, he
may not have enough to pay the pastor--nothing left for a
honeymoon. In days past the girls cut up old clothes for making
quilts. Now they spend their time making "shams" and "throws" and
"tidies" to place over parlor chairs. Sitting on a chair is getting to
be a problem, because if you slip the wrong way you run the risk of
dragging the darn throw off the chair if it clings to your clothes.

In town it's even worse. There's no more old-style courting. I
always thought it best to know a girl before you married her. The
only way to really get to know a girl is to sleep with her in bed and
make serious love. Nowadays the serious has gone out of it, and
"fashionable calls" are the thing. A half dozen get together, play
cards, speak foolishly, or sit in a corner and look at each other like
cats on a fence. It seems like they know nothing of the good times
that you and I had when I went to see my Polly and you to see your
Melinda. The end result is they are not finding out about love until
it's too late, and after marriage, love becomes almost a matter of
"convenience sake"--something secondary to the life of style and
fashion. An old maid who misses her chance at having some
"convenience" may spend the rest of her life much as the mullein
herb as it dries on the hearth--she may shrivel up in loneliness.

Fact is that today's young people want to be amused. They
don't look ahead but sit and wait for something to turn up that'll
amuse them without having to work. The men all want to be
lawyers, doctors, and professional people. Women spend their time
studying fashion plates, leaving their mothers to do the
housekeeping. They all want to live without working, and if a girl
can't find a wealthy man or a boy can't have a rich bride, then there
may be no wedding at all. The fact of the matter is that a bride who
only knows music and dancing will keep a dirty kitchen.

A bachelor who marries after forty years of age should be
thrashed, and a woman who'd marry him should be sent away to an
asylum. I believe in young marriages. Young people are like small
apple trees. You can bind their roots together, and they'll grow up
intertwining themselves like one tree. Just try to bind together the
roots of two forty-year old trees, and their trunks will split apart.
That means trouble and divorce--ruining both their lives.

Surrounded by so many attractive women, any man who can
run around for forty years without finding a girl that suits him
should either be wearing a corset or should be clubbed. In cases
such as these girls should never be blamed. But they can be blamed
for never asking a man. There are some who are waiting to find a
perfect man, but in good time they'll find that all the perfect men
died in their childhood and that angels don't wear pants.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

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• 17-Courtship & Marriage by "Vee L. Housman" <>