PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 19-Old Billy Sultzer & the Vultures
Date: Fri, 14 Aug 1998 14:22:06 -0400

OLD BILLY SULTZER AND THE VULTURES

One half of the world doesn't know how the other half lives,
and if it did then many people would step down from their high
places to take the places of the less fortunate. The fact is, there are
already too many people that live off of what the others earn, and
they would labor harder to make a dollar by cunning than they
would by doing honest work.

This was demonstrated a few years ago when old Billy Sultzer
started a grocery store in Schweffeltown. The old man had always
worked hard, and in all his life never earned a dishonest dollar. He
assumed that everyone was honest, and when he grew too old to
keep up with the hard work on the farm, he decided to go into the
grocery business. In this way he thought he could grow old, live off
of his new business, and not have to work so hard anymore.

He put up shelves with a few rows of canned tomatoes, corn,
beans, and things. Then he opened a box of smoked herring and
stood it on the counter. A keg of sugar went under the counter,
with bags of coffee, and a packs of fresh chewing tobacco. Then he
set some red-striped sugar candy on the shelf next to other small
items of merchandise, sat down, lit up his pipe, and waited for the
customers to come.

He didn't sit for too long until a small boy came in with cents
to buy two smoked herring, and the old man placed the money in
his box--the first that he ever earned without having to work--one
hundred percent profit. The next customer was old Becki Hetzel.
She took a pack of Frishmute home with her, and there was another
seven cents profit, and so it went until by evening he had three
dollars and seven cents in his box. "This beats farming buckwheat
on the flint rich," he said to his old wife, and the next morning he
was back in his store busy getting his things in order. His trade
picked up slowly in the beginning, but there was a little more
everyday, and it was nearly all in cash. The man finally had, by
chucks, his own bank account.

But then something happened. The vultures smelled a dead
horse, and one after another came flying after him. They bought
everything in cash for a few days, and then they asked for credit--at
first just a few cents, but a few cents here and a few cents there
soon made his cash box look like thirty cents of change, and his
groceries vanished like the snow in April. His accounts all looked
good. There was Bill Heichel, deacon in the church. He was
already thirty dollars in arrears, but a man who carries a bible under
one arm and a hymnal under the other to church every Sunday
morning, and who can preach so fervently must be honest, and the
old man made up his mind that he wouldn't insult the deacon by
asking him to pay up--even if he had to loose his whole business.

Finally, he gave the deacon a hint by telling him that he had to
have some money to satisfy his city creditors, but Bill changed the
subject and began talking of church matters. He said that a good
man like Billy should belong to the church, and that if he'd join the
congregation, it wouldn't be long until he too could become a
deacon. Anyway, that day he didn't pay anything on his account.
Instead he bought another three dollars worth of groceries, and
when it came to paying cash, Billy found that he only had three
cents in his pocketbook, and so it was added to his account. The
vultures had already gorged themselves, and the old horse was
growing thinner and thinner. The old man was proud of his
business. Maybe he didn't think that he had so many friends, and
his business expanded so much until he drove nearly all the other
groceries out of business.

But finally something went wrong--like it often does. A bill
for a hundred and forty dollars arrived with the mail from
Philadelphia. This was for non-essential items--much of it was on
items that he couldn't sell--items for which even the vultures had no
need. The store corners were full, the shelves were full of boxes
with fancy named items. The vultures were still after him. They
talked, promised to buy items that no one needed, until finally his
store was carrying only items for which use could be found except
debiting a bank account.

The sheriff tacked a notice on the door to his grocery. He
pleaded with his customers to pay up their delinquent accounts.
Bill Heichel gave him a check for twenty-five dollars. Old Billy
gave him his three dollars change, but when he tried to clear the
check at the bank he was told that deacon Heichel didn't have a
bank account. That was the last straw, Bill lost his whole business.
Three days later they held the auction for Billy Sultzer's grocery.
The sheriff was auctioning off the items shelf by the shelf. The old
man's farm was in that grocery store, and it was all lost.

And so goes the world. The big fish eat the little fish. There
are four kinds of people--those who pay their debts when they feel
like it; those who pay their debts if it pays them to pay them off;
those who pay because they must, and those who never pay them
off. And let me tell you, if a person like Bill Heichel ever makes it
to heaven on the strength of his beliefs, then there's no point in
keeping a fire burning in the other place.

Everyone ought to learn a few lessons from old Billy Sultzer's
experience, and here they are:

1. Let no one desert a business that he knows well in order to
start a business about which he knows nothing. It's hard for an old
dog to learn new tricks.

2. No one can tell what is in a man's heart when his breast is
covered with the finest clothing.

3. The righteous man doesn't need a bell to advertise--the
people will find him regardless.

4. A short creditor's account is worth more than a long
sermon.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

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• 19-Old Billy Sultzer & the Vultures by "Vee L. Housman" <>