PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 30-A Girl Asks About Marriage
Date: Tue, 25 Aug 1998 15:16:15 -0400

A GIRL ASKS ABOUT MARRIAGE

This week I got a letter from a girl, and here is what she wrote:

Dear Boonastiel: Last week I read your answer to the young
man who asked what kind of girl should he pick for a wife. It was
bully good advice from you, and now we girls would like to have
you tell us what kind of men we should pick for husbands?

Well, Kassy, I haven't written a letter to a girl since I and Polly
attended our little red schoolhouse by the creek. However, since
you've asked such an important question, I want to give you a
thoughtful reply.

First thing, Kassy, don't try to find a perfect man. There once
was a philosopher named Diogenes who spend years traveling in
search of the perfect man, all to no avail. Nearly all the men
without imperfections are dead and buried--you can read about their
lives in Sunday School books. They all died while very young.
Their goodness killed them. The few who are still with us are made
out of wood and may be found standing in clothing stores. A man
without any faults is also without any personality, and without the
courage to get anything more out of the world than an old hen gets
out of empty corn cobs. Don't think that I approve of men's
imperfections. I'm a man, and I understand that faults cling to men
like bones cling to meat.

However, there are some faults that we can't ignore. A young
man who brags how good a man he is over the amount of beer he
can drink without becoming drunk, has a mouth bigger than his wit
and a thirst greater than his worth.

A man who has nothing to recommend him except his father's
wealth--too dumb to learn and too lazy to work--is a poor
investment. If you marry him you'll leave him in short order. A
decent, upright, sober, smart man who heeds and respects his father
and mother, is worth more than a ten-acre field full of pampered
dudes.

When you find a man that suits you, stick to him as tightly as a
tortoise can cling to your big toe. Don't be like others and try to
control his life. Don't be like the dog who took off over a log to
cross a stream with a piece of meat in its mouth. When it stopped
to take a piss, it lost its balance and dropped the meat.

There is just one thing that is worse than a dude. That’s a
flirt. Decent habits are worth more than any golden watch chain; a
good attitude worth more than the biggest riches. A little cabin
filled with happiness and love is more worthwhile than a palace
filled with riches and hate. Don't marry a drunkard with the hope
that you can reform him. That's been tried before. When a young
man doesn't have enough love for you to behave like a gentleman
before you're married, then don't blame him for acting like a pig
after the wedding.

Stretch your feet on his floor and your clothing in the shadow
of your man's pocket book. Stand by him when he is right, and
follow him when he needs understanding, but don't let him step on
you. If he needs something to kick, buy him a yellow dog. If you
can't cook, well then try to learn. Keep yourself clean and tidy, and
when a baby finally arrives, don't abandon it to stink in a bundle of
milk-sour, moldy rags. Put reins on your tongue and avoid strife
with the neighbors. Stay cheerful and helpful, and if fate doesn't
send you a good man, then handle him like a dog and shoot him like
a dog if it becomes necessary.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

This thread:

• 30-A Girl Asks About Marriage by "Vee L. Housman" <>