PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 44-The Rabbit Mountain Museum
Date: Tue, 08 Sep 1998 12:33:45 -0400

THE RABBIT MOUNTAIN MUSEUM

I see that you attended the World's Fair, and you've now
returned. If I'd have known it, by shucks, I would have asked you
to apply for a place for the Rabbit Mountain Museum. I and Billy
Bixler have a good collection of curiosities, and we've named it
"The Great Rabbit Mountain Aggregation of Natural Curimosities,"
and planned to take the whole business to Chicago this summer,
and would have liked to have you advertise for us. We brought
many articles from Sols Rever, and since almost everyone is
interested in that neck of the woods, I think, we can make quite a
bit of money from it.

First, we have Benj Harrison's grandfather's old top hat that
the Democrats pulled down over his eyes last November; we have
one of Grover Cleveland's paper collars that measured twenty-three
inches, and the old handkerchief that Hendrick sneezed into when
he heard the '88 election returns coming. We have the jacket that
the big Democratic politician, Breckenridge, puked into during the
war when he attempted to transmit yellow fever via his jacket to the
North. We also have Mat Quay's signature which he signed as a
member of the pardon board for Bill Kemble who was in the
penitentiary for trying to take three million dollars from the
Pennsylvania Legislature. We have a molar from every donkey in
the Pennsylvania Legislature, and a picture of every member who
didn't pay the Pennsylvania Railroad and Standard Oil for his
position.

We have a wisp of hair from each member of the county seat
who didn't lose his neck while in office, and a fingernail from a man
who never stole a thing while he was in office. We have the
tzah-lawd from a man who kept all his promises to his friends and
the first five-cent cigar that he ever gave away as a candidate. We
have a shroud from the coffin of a man who died as a Christian after
having spent ten years in politics.

We have a lot of other things that no one in their lives have
ever heard of. We have a woman who would rather spend time in a
kitchen than in a milliner shop, a boy who'd rather go to church
than go fishing, a husband who thought more of his own wife than
of his neighbor's, a girl who didn't look into a mirror every time she
passed it, a doctor who took his own medicine, a clerk who didn't
like his own merchandise, a lawyer who didn't steal, a printer who
didn't lie, a storekeeper who wouldn't swindle, and a three-legged
calf with seven tails.

Now, if you don't come upon an aggregation of curimosities
as big as ours at the fair, then let me know. Tell the fair officials
that we're coming to set up a stand next to the Democratic
headquarters since we don't want to carry water.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

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• 44-The Rabbit Mountain Museum by "Vee L. Housman" <>