PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 49-A Dream
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1998 15:27:20 -0400

A DREAM

I had another strange dream, and I can't help it--I must tell
about it. It begins with my not knowing what to do with a big
silver dollar that I found. Had I been awake, the problem would
have been quickly solved since I'm often thirsty and Hullerheck has
recently rolled a new barrel of keffer bree into his cellar. But this
was a dream, and I'd been holding this dollar in my hand until it
became warm.

Then it came to me that since I write for the newspaper, I
might just as well invest in a printing business and print "The Rabbit
Mountain Blotter." The business was started up and in a couple
months I had a list of subscribers which stretched all the way from
Kitzeldarfer's up to Hawnyarick's cattle trough. The business was
brisk and new business was coming in like children and dogs into a
poor man’s house.

I really thought I had a good thing going, but when the time
came to pay my bill from Philadelphia I didn't have enough money.
I told Polly we'd have to live sparingly, so we stopped eating meat.
The new subscribers for "The Blotter" kept coming in faster, but
still no money, and I starved to death.

When the newspaper stopped coming out, people from far
and wide stopped by and commented on how much my loss spited
them. Billy Bixler went to a saw mill for some boards to make me
a coffin. He had hoped that I really wasn't dead, and now and then
he held a bottle of booze to my nose, saying, "Now Gottlieb, take a
deep breath." But it didn't do any good.

Finally, Bill Blotner came and said, "This is a shame! Starved,
with lots of money on his books and nothing in his pockets. How
easily I could have paid my bill, and why didn't I tell my good wife
to pay him up."

Next came Billy Heichler. "Yaw," said he. "Boonastiel was
really a good-natured man. His newspaper always supported good
things and spoiled bad things. I often sent him church and picnic
festival notices. I sent my friends six copies of his newspaper every
week. Of course, I paid him nothing, thinking that he'd never feel
the loss of six copies with all the circulation income he had.

Next Mike Bloomer came in. "Ah!" he said. "Dead? Well,
there's not much lost. I didn't like his newspaper and him even
less."

Billy Bixler opened the subscription book. There was Mike
Bloomer's name. He owed seven dollars.

By that time the funeral started. Just when they were ready to
bury me, the bed sheets gave way. Both I and Polly fell off the bed
like two cats in a sack. I was awake and thanked God that I was
still alive, but I still wish I had the dollars owed to me.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

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• 49-A Dream by "Vee L. Housman" <>