PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 54-Should Priscilla Marry?
Date: Fri, 18 Sep 1998 13:04:22 -0400

SHOULD PRISCILLA MARRY?

Dear Boonastiel:

You gave Heinrich Hullerbuck such good advice about his
spoiled boy that I can't help but approach you for more advice. I
have a daughter Priscilla who is nearly of age. She wants to marry,
but she doesn't want to marry the man that I want her to marry. We
still need her at home and I thought she should put such thoughts
out of her mind. Can you give me advice on how to keep her from
marrying.

Danny Maislich

Well, Danny, my first question is, do you want to marry or
does you daughter want to marry? If you are marrying you should
have your way, but if Priscilla is marrying then she should have her
way as to who she chooses for a man. I say this because in your
letter you said she was nearly of age. I believe that if a woman
hasn't any common sense by the time she's reached that age, then
she'll never have any sense. If she were still in her childhood I'd
stand by you, but she is old enough to pick her own man, and her
own nature will dictate whom she can marry and whom she cannot
marry.

Let me tell you, Danny, for an old man to pick a mate for a
young person is bad business and to make a couple marry against
their will is wrong. There is no household that doesn't have
problems, and when the deep water isn't running clear they'll start
looking for someone to blame. If a father forces a match they'll
blame their troubles on him, and the next thing you'll hear is, "My
daddy picked my husband and now he has to put up with him too."
Isn't that true? Don't you know of households who have broken up
in just that way?

On the other hand, if a couple has their own way, then if
anything goes wrong it's their own responsibility, but generally
they'll stick together as long as possible. The benefits that strife
offers a couple comes mainly from the friends of the couple at the
time of their marriage. Such friends may serve to crack a whip over
their heads which puts them into a fresh mood to try to get along
better with each other. Because of this a father should be very
careful how far he goes in such matters. It should end with good
advice, an understanding protest, and letting her have her own way.
He would regret all else with bitter tears.

You say that Priscilla shouldn't marry while you need her at
home. Yes, and the older you get the more you'll be needing her.
An opportunity for a happy marriage is a great blessing. The
chances are not plentiful, and no one can afford to lose a chance.
When you no longer need Priscilla then no one else may have any
use for her either. In worldly things nothing is more important than
for a women or a man to find the right mate. And let me tell you,
Danny, a good marriage has a lot to do with prospects in the next
life. There is nothing more certain to send a man to the devil than a
bad wife. When the man turns out bad then a righteous wife will
wilt like a tulip from a tulip poplar and go early to the grave. If the
wife turns out bad a husband will generally stand it for awhile, but
by degrees he'll turn into a pig, and he'll die that way.

Now, Danny, I didn't tell you what you should do, but you can
draw your own conclusions from what I've said.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

This thread:

• 54-Should Priscilla Marry? by "Vee L. Housman" <>