PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 57-New Neighbors
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 13:36:49 -0400

THE NEW NEIGHBORS

The day before yesterday we got some new neighbors here on
the Mountain. The man's name is Sam Kivler. No one knows
where he comes from. He has one wooden leg and smokes a pipe
that's strong enough to push a load of manure up the mountain. His
wife is nearly a match for Six-Foot Betz and seems neighborly. I
don't like her appearance at all, since she sways her right arm like
Betz when she walks.

The first day here they sent the children--they have about a
dozen and a half--over to borrow our shrowva-tzeega far era
bed-lawda tzomma shrowva. Polly let them have it, and we haven't
seen it since. On the same day they also borrowed a kettle full of
malt and some pepper. In the evening all the children came over
just as we were ready to sit down to supper. The children looked so
hungry, and they sucked the snot up their noses so loudly that I left
the table and told them that they could have my supper since I
wasn't hungry. They attacked supper like hay locusts in Kansas and
even licked my plate clean. I couldn't stand it any longer when the
oldest boy grabbed my fork and started to use it for a toothpick. I
tore it from his hand saying that if he wanted to fork manure he'd
have to head for the barn where he'd find a pitchfork for that
purpose.

Later that evening the parents visited us. Mrs. Kivler said she
was so glad to have us for good neighbors, since their last neighbors
were so unfriendly, and couldn't be expected to act any better.
They were the meanest, dirtiest, and most ill-mannered that she'd
ever met in her life--except that the neighbors she'd had before the
last were even meaner. I listened to her with one ear and with the
other I listened to her husband tell me how to raise children. He
finished up by saying that if children are to be raised properly they
need plenty of food to eat and couldn't he borrow a bushel of
potatoes. I said, "No, we don’t even have any for ourselves."
They did all the talking, and I could see that Polly wasn't pleased.
She knew well enough that a family without good neighbors at one
place will probably not find good ones no matter where it moves.
Well, when they were ready to depart, Mrs. Kivler looked up at the
clock and said, "Oh my goodness, nearly ten o'clock. I've been so
lost. Since we moved here we've had no clock. Couldn't you lend
us one of your clocks for a few weeks until we can afford to buy
our own?"

"No, no!" I said. "There'll be no more damn lending!"

They saw that I was mad, so they started for home without
even inviting us over to visit. That pleased me. I like a man who
can take an insult without kicking. But now we know we have a
neighbor problem which won't be corrected until they leave.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

This thread:

• 57-New Neighbors by "Vee L. Housman" <>