PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 58-The Poor Among Us
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 1998 12:09:59 -0400

THE POOR AMONG US

In my last letter I told you about our new neighbor, Sam
Kivler. We still put up with him, but the township welfare
committee is trying hard to get rid of them fearing that they'll go to
the township for support. You know the Bible says, "Take care of
your poor," and because of this no one wants to bear the
responsibility for getting rid of them. They say Kivler is a thief and
is too lazy to work. I am a witness to the fact that he is too lazy to
work. Regarding thievery I won't say much, but I've lost three
chickens from my coup, and I saw their red-speckled feathers in
Kivler's backyard. They say he got his leg shot off while stealing
chickens.

The neighbors came around yesterday to make plans for
getting rid of him. Some wanted to "white cap" him, and others
wanted to tar and feather him. Finally, I stood up and said the
world is like a “great mason,” and its people are like stones. Each
stone has its place in the great masonry, no matter how rough or
crooked it is. Now, Kivler is a coarse stone, but he has his place,
and since he is a thief and too lazy to work I suggested that we elect
him to office--Congress, Senate, or Presidency. Billy Bixler said he
couldn't go along with that. He believed that only the rich should be
elected into office, so that they didn't have to steal to become rich
while in office. I had to concede his point, then Mike Blotner
jumped up and said that before we go so far as to encourage
thievery and loafing he wanted it known that honest working skills
take precedence over loafing in his book, and he'd rather trade those
skills for political skills any day.

Finally the discussion turned to more political issues. Each
speaker confessed that he could do as well as the next fellow by not
working and stealing his share from the public trough. They forgot
all about Sam Kivler and each pretended to be the poorest. Finally,
I said I always thought that I was the poorest man from Rabbit
Mountain, and I'd still be able to do business with any of them any
day without having to beg. A man who can't take care of his own
business should not ask to take care of others.

They all agreed that I spoke the truth and asked me if I'd like
to be nominated for Congress. "Nosser," I answered. "Once upon a
time I ran for that position, and except for Billy Bixler, you all lied
to me when you promised to give me your vote. I don't want to run
again and make liars out of you all over again." It was an accusation
fired into the air that surprised everyone--somewhat like the surprise
of a burglar when confronted with a pitch fork after breaking in.
After the raucous died down they all argued like Sammy
Sendapetzer that a family with fifteen children on township support
would require heavy tax levies on his half dozen farms, and he
suggested that we all take up a collection for their support. I
appointed Billy Bixler to take his hat around. When he got to old
Sammy, Sammy just stared him in the eye and didn't offer a cent.
After the collection was made the hat contained seven cents and a
trouser button. One coin, a nickel, was donated by an Irish peddler
who had been drinking heavily.

The meeting broke up. We quickly departed without saying a
thing about the seven cents until we came to Hullerhecka’s. Then
Billy gave me a wink. We stepped up to the bar and asked for
seven cents worth of liquor with two straws for drinking it. If you
never saw anything like two thirsty calves trying to drink from the
same milk pail you could have seen it then. I have a longer draught
than Billy, but Billy was faster. He closed his eyes, laid his ears
back like those of a mule when it gets ready to yell, and by the time
I got around to sucking on my straw the only thing that I got was air.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

This thread:

• 58-The Poor Among Us by "Vee L. Housman" <>