PADUTCH-LIFE-L Archives

From: "Vee L. Housman" <>
Subject: 62-Lies and Liars
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 1998 20:40:08 -0400

LIES AND LIARS

The world is full of liars and everyday there are more. They
are like Canadian thistles. As soon as we think we've got them all
exterminated, a whole new crop rebounds like hairs on a dog.

There are many kinds of liars. Some lie just for fun, some lie
for money, and some lie because they've done it for so long that
they don't know what the truth is anymore. I think newspaper
publishers and lawyers fall under the latter class, the reason being
because people will pay more for printed lies than anything else.
Many politicians also fall under the class that can't help but lie. If
a
man runs for office and tells you that he is the only honest man in
the field, that the others are all liars and thieves, and that his party
has all the good points and the other party is bad, then you'd better
help him stay out of the courthouse or he'll steal the iron handles off
the courthouse doors.

Then there are those who would lie for money. If a
storekeeper swears that he is selling his goods for less money than
he paid for them, then grasp your purse tightly as long as you are in
his shop and try not to attract his attention. If a man approaches
you to offer to install lightning rods on your roof while saying that
you've got the prettiest wife and the smartest children in the
country, then load the old flint rifle with fish salt and hold it about
a
foot under his coattail when he goes out the gate.

Some people lie for fun. Perhaps that kind of lie does the
least harm of all. Quite a few men tell this sort of lie in jest, while
in business their word is as good as their note. One man will take
pleasure in telling stories while another may enjoy hearing them.
This does no one any particular harm and many times makes a
heavy heart lighter.

Lying is not restricted to men alone. Women occasionally
stretch the truth in their jabbering. When women meet they often
kiss each other like a flock of doves. But as soon as they separate
they pick apart every piece of clothing that each one was wearing
and find that none looked any better than a house rag. I don't know
if you'd call this lying, but it is, by ginerosity, hard on the truth.

All remaining lies come under the heading of “fish lies.”
Anyone who fishes, lies. In this category there are no fewer liars
than there are people who are too lazy to dig for worms or to cast a
hook line.

* * *

Note: This collection of Boonastiel stories was written by H. A.
Harter in the original Penna-Dutch dialect and were published in the
Keystone Gazette, Bellefonte, PA, between 1894 and 1904. They
were translated and transcribed by Bob James of Alaska and they
are being posted to this PADUTCH-LIFE mailing list with his
permission.

This thread:

• 62-Lies and Liars by "Vee L. Housman" <>