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From:
Subject: [ROOTS-L] Re: ROOTS-L Digest V05 #352-Rude Cousins
Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 19:24:33 EDT


Hi, I was reading about rude cousins and had to respond. My Great Aunt Ruth
had spent many moments with me when she would come to visit. She would tell me
lots of things about her family as we would play cards. In 1973 she died. I
had never forgotten all the information and as I got older, I spent hours
researching the family history. In 1990, I sponsored a family reunion and
contributed a lot of my own money to the affair. I wanted to deliver all of the
family history that my Great Aunt had given me over the years, along with all
the information that I had researched from libraries, newspapers and etc. To
make a long story short, the affair was a success. We were able to find a large
conference center that could accommodate this affair reasonably. I was able
to put together a weekend with a family tour of the family homestead, the
church and graves, along with a lunch in the town my ancestors initially
settled. We also had a golf outing, a swimming party for the children in the
afternoon, a party with a disc jockey, a slide photo show set to music that was
shown at the Saturday night party. This alone took many hours because my
nephew and I had to take pictures of pictures and rent a slide projector with the
pulsating equipment to put the whole thing together. We also had to get
photos through the mail from different families to include them in the show. The
complete show then had to be put to music and it took hours to put together.
This reunion took a lot of work and a lot of money. We concluded the reunion
with a mass performed by my Mother's cousin who was a Catholic Priest.

Following the reunion, I tried to keep in touch with my relatives by sending
Christmas cards, and even phoning some. In 1993, I got married and invited a
lot of relatives to my wedding. I spiritually wanted to have a
"mini-reunion" with relatives. Several distant relatives did come. It was very nice and I
sent sincere thank you cards to everyone. A few years later my Mother had two
cousins die in the same week that were living together in a nursing home.
They were elderly and just died. My sister, Mother and I found out and went to
the funeral. We received a very cold reception from the family and after the
funeral I was hoping to join my relatives for the lunch and was willing to
even pay for ours if that was necessary. We were never invited and I got the
feeling that they just wanted us to leave. The moral of the story is that all of
my good intentions were never realized and that all of my family research
and hard work of putting that reunion together was never valued. I have never
heard from any of them since, and I honestly was hoping to at least keep in
touch at Christmas. This is what I consider to be rude relatives and while I
can forgive them, we will never understand what all their coldness was about.
Thanks for letting me share this!
Mary Ellen


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