Scotch-Irish-L Archives

Archiver > Scotch-Irish > 1998-02 > 0887373716


From: "Robert T. Hilliard" <>
Subject: FW: [BSP] VASTLY IMPROVED ENGLISH APPROVED
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 1998 07:41:56 -0500


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In light of recent discussions, I give you...
Rob

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From:
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 1998 4:57 PM
To:
Subject: Fwd: [BSP] VASTLY IMPROVED ENGLISH APPROVED

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From: Janine Greenberg-Walker <>
To: "" <>
Subject: [BSP] VASTLY IMPROVED ENGLISH APPROVED
Date: Wed, 11 Feb 1998 12:50:27 -0500
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VASTLY IMPROVED ENGLISH APPROVED
**************************************************

>> > The European Union commissioners have announced that
>> agreement has been
>> reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
>> communications, rather than German, which was the other
>> possibility.
>>As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>> English
>> spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
>> five-year
>> phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish ("Euro" for
>> short).

>> In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
>> Sertainly,
>> sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c"
>> will
>> be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
>> typewriters kan have one fewer letter.

>> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
>> the
>> troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
>> like
>> >>> "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

>> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>> expekted
>> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
>> have always
>> ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
>> horible mes
>> silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

>> >>> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
>> replasing "th "
>> >>> by "z" and "w" by "v".

>> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
>> kontaining
>> "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
>> kombinations of
>> leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

>> Zer
>> vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
>> understand ech ozer.

>> Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

****************************************

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