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From: Richard Brogger <>
Subject: [TMG] OT-Report humor
Date: Wed, 04 Sep 2002 22:12:30 -0500


The latest word on reports.

I understand that the handgun category has been split into two types
of report. A 50 caliber handgun made in Israel has the loudest report.
A center fire 22 Jet Magnum has the sharpest report.

For shoulder fired weapons there has been a big delay. There is no
doubt that a rifle firing the 50 caliber Browning round has the
loudest report. However, since that rifle requires a bipod in
addition, some argue that it is not truly a shoulder fired weapon.

A mixture of oxygen and acetylene gas has been selected as the most
bang for the buck category. The report from the explosion of four
cubic feet of oxyacetylene gas is inexpensive and can be heard for
miles.

A Chinese firm claims that their aerial bomb gives the loudest report
in the world but could not demonstrate it because they use an 82 mm
mortar to fire the bomb and only 80 mm mortars were available. Two,
family owned, fireworks companies from New York and Pennsylvania are
presently the front runners in the aerial bomb category. At least
until mortors arrive from China.

In the animal report category, there is a toss-up. Six Clydesdales had
the record until some sumo wrestlers got into the contest. By feeding
the horses green grass, barely and yeast the reports were always long
and often loud. The wrestlers then changed their diet to German
Sauerkraut, Navy Beans and green beer. The subsequent reports were
reported to be awesome and in more ways than one.

I hope this helps. <VBG>

Richard Brogger

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