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Archiver > TX-CEMETERIES > 2006-08 > 1155758023


From: Liz Cunningham <>
Subject: Re: [TXCem] teens caught for vandalism
Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:53:43 -0700 (PDT)
In-Reply-To: <001001c6c169$80a483f0$6401a8c0@oemcomputer>


Trevia,

Your question hits home with too many parents today, how do we get them involved, with far too many parents it has to be through their pocketbook.

The real problem is there are a lot of people having children, however, it takes more than having children to be a parent, now that is the base core of the problem. Too many parents not really parents. We apply bandaids but too many of parents allow the streets to raise their children, and the schools to do the rest. Many of our children are experiencing true psychological torment, and this is their way of being herd because they are not being heard at home.

I still believe that you took the correct stand getting the Vandals involved in cleaning up their mischief, and I applaud you in that you cared enough to say that you care about what the teens did, and in getting them to correct their mistake. These teens found in you someone who took an interest in them, and this is what all of our children and youth need, someone who takes an interest in them in a constructive manner.

In trying to understand others I try to put myself in their position and then take am constructive point of view and action. This is what you did, and I Thank You you for doing so, maybe just maybe you touched the heart and soul of at least of those teens, and your action may last a lifetime and help change that life for the better.

Trevia W Beverly <> wrote:
Liz, in a perfect world ....

but it may be difficult to get parents involved ... how often do we hear of
kids getting into all sorts of problems and their folks are nowhere on the
scene. I'd love to catch just one graffiti artist red-handed! but
restitution - type and amount - is up to a judge. In our case we did get a
couple hundred dollars for a small replacement marker ... and I suppose the
parents had to pay it.

Certainly the parents heard the lecture in court but did it 'take?' As I
said, in our case the parents showed up and wanted to stay - I guess to make
sure I was not going to "wup up on their precious little rascals" but never
said one word to me in apology! I think that right there tells you
something --- "oh, just a prank" attitude.

If you can tell us how to get a parent involved, I bet a lot of us would
love to know it! Public education through the news media, maybe.
Trevia

----- Original Message -----
From: "Liz Cunningham"
To:
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 1:29 PM
Subject: Re: [TXCem] teens caught for vandalism


> HI,
>
> I agree with you on most aspects, and that the project was the proper
decision!
>
> However, I still think that parents should be held financially
responsible for the deeds of their dependent minor children. Perhaps then
the parents will become more aware of their children's overall behavior.
Acting out is often a cry for help.
>
> Trevia W Beverly wrote:
> I've been watching the responses and am not sure if some of you think
> 'community service' and the boys I had at Evergreen are one and the same,
or
> right or wrong. Community Service IS working to replace what was
> destroyed.
> Community Service just means it is under supervision. And better than
being
> placed in an alternative situation such as a 'boot camp.' Done correctly,
it
> can be a learning experience.
> If it is in RE to a cemetery you have to be willing to go before the
> judge at the trial. I could have simply let the court take it's stand -
> probably a juvenile community service project of picking up trash along
the
> road or something ... I took the time to go to court and asked to be heard
> because I thought doing that service under my direction at the place where
> the damage was done was a better alternative.
> Yes, parents should be responsible. But you can't put them in jail if
> they did not do the deed. Sometimes too harsh a measure only makes matters
> worse. But if we seek to educate while they do the community service ---
> all too often not done --- then we have a chance!
> Of course, it can't be done today --- heaven forbid! and the ACLU would
> be all over us! But there was a day when kids got into trouble and the
deed
> was noted in the newspaper, so was their name. And we had very little of
it
> because the parent did not want to be embarrassed.
> If you are in a smaller community, you might think about some sort of
> educational program through the schools, churches, scouts. There would be
> kids who would want to come out and help ... what about a training session
> (and I mean with certain instructions - other than just cleanup - in
> place, including lunch) before a day at the cemetery? You might be
> surprised to find you have a permanent crew! Even if they are not told the
> name of the kids who did the deed, they probably know ... and probably
know
> even if the kids were not caught and prosecuted - peer pressure can
> sometimes work wonders.
>
> Trevia
>
>
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