WHITNEY-L Archives

Archiver > WHITNEY > 1998-08 > 0901995366

From: Barry Whitney <>
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Genealogy Chuckles
Date: Sat, 1 Aug 1998 14:16:06 -0400 (EDT)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 1 Aug 1998 08:04:50 EDT
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 22:32:30 -0700
From: Gayle Ellison <>
>[ got this from Doris Stanford ]

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated
and at which the platform collapsed under him turned out to be a hanging.

2. When at last after much hard work you have evolved the mystery that you
have been working on for two years, your aunt says, "I could have told you

3. You search ten years for your grandmother's maiden name to eventually
find it on a letter in a box in the attic.

4. You never asked your father about his family when he was alive because
you weren't interested in genealogy then.

5. The will you need is in the safe on board the Titanic.

6. Copies of old newspapers have holes occurring only on the surnames.

7. John, son of Thomas the immigrant whom your relatives claim as the
family progenitor, died on board ship at the age of 10.

8. Your great grandfather's newspaper obituary states that he died
leaving no issue of record.

9. Another genealogist has just insulted the keeper of the vital records
you need.

10. The relative who had all the family photographs gave them all to her
daughter who has no interest in genealogy and no inclination to share.

11. The only record you find for your great grandfather is that his
property was sold at a sheriff's sale of insolvency.

12. The one document that would supply the missing link in your dead end
line has been lost due to fire, flood, or war.

13. The town clerk to whom you wrote for the information sends you a long
handwritten letter which is totally illegible.

14. The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship
to its current spelling or pronunciation.

15. None of the pictures in your recently deceased grandmother's photo
album have names written on them.

16. No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, owned
property, was sued or was named in a will.

17. You learn that your great aunt's executor just sold her life's
collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer
"Somewhere in New York City."

18. Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to
the value of the data recorded.

19. The 37 volume, 16,000 page history of your county of origin isn't

20. You finally find your great grandparents' wedding record and discover
that the bride's father was named John Smith.

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